Rantswers® 7.2

Hey, hey now.  Stop that.  No, I mean it, or you’re going to your rooms.  Okay, thank you for being mature.  Now, sit back and enjoy Part Two of the seventh installment of Rantswers®… right here:

Twindaddy: Is it so bad to offer someone a 2nd chance?

Hmmm.  The answer is that it depends on the crime or violation in question.  If someone broke your favorite Stormtrooper model by sheer accident, then man up and fix it.  If they ate your very heart after grinding it into ground meat and fried it with fava beans and chianti and then sniffed with joy their own fart from that meal… kill them without remorse so that they don’t reproduce.  I’m implying a sloping scale in between, by the way.  Graduated response, not equivocation.

ddupre315: If you could remove one person from the face of the earth without repercussions (currently living) who would it be and why?

Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.  Without question.  Oops… that’s two.  But really they’re different manifestations of one 9-dimensional alien bent on ruining Earth.  That fucker.

Steph: I haven’t been sleeping well, and this morning I woke up with a banana under my pillow. First question: What does it MEAN? Second question: If you found a mysterious gift of fruit under your pillow, would you eat it? (I did.)

I’m not going to explore the implications of longing associated with phallic-looking fruit, because in spite of my Rantswer® #1 in 7.1 to Elite, I’m about as far from gay as a white North American man can be without being not right.  Suffice it to say that while I hope this Rantswer® doesn’t make you not participate here anymore, you might just need a boyfriend who can bring it.  Or a visit from the Dick Fairy.  To your second question, I found an egg resting on my box of smokes next to the coffee maker last Sunday morning.  I will not eat that egg.  Fucking creepy.

Kathleen R: Where is Malaysian Flight 370?

At the bottom of the fucking Indian Ocean, and due to pilot error, in spite of the lamestream media’s attempt to make it otherwise.  I wish they’d leave those poor Asian families alone.  Odd I have not seen the families of any of the Americans on that airplane bawling for the cameras yet.  Then again, I generally watch TV on Sunday at 8pm, for Cosmos.

Christopher De Voss: Your top 5 movies of all time.

In no particular order:

– Patton

– The Matrix (the whole trilogy)

– That one good Star Trek movie based on TNG series

– Saving Private Ryan

– Napoleon Dynamite

1jaded1: Made it in time. Why is it that an 80 year old human dildo can stay alive on the taxpayer’s dime with three squares and a bed, while a good person half his age loses his battle and leaves a family behind? They say everything happens for a reason. What pray tell is the fucking reason? Serious only. This is not funny.

Because we’ve deviated from a society where people are responsible for themselves and know that they have only themselves to rely on, which in turn created the Entitlement Culture you are describing.  This will only get worse unless or until someone with a big enough arm can bitch-slap about 80% of all Americans into understanding that there’s a significant fucking difference between WANT and fucking NEED, and because the twain don’t meet does NOT mean that the Constitution says they’re fucking ENTITLED.  All of that aside, Jaded, I’m very sorry for your loss.  I know loss hurts.  Bad.

– – – – –

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38 Responses to “Rantswers® 7.2”

  1. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    This series was the best one yet! (Yay Cosmos) Napoleon Dynamite?

  2. I would have never guessed Napoleon Dynamite in a million years….

  3. Yeah, I was thrown with Napoleon Dynamite as well…not the answer I was expecting…funny movie though.

  4. Thank you. This is why I walk alone.

    Your movie choices are quite unexpected.

    It snowed a fucking inch here…off topic…really?

  5. NotAPunkRocker Says:

    Love the movie answers especially!

  6. Interesting….

  7. A visit from the dick fairy…priceless! Hahahaha!

  8. I found an egg resting on my box of smokes next to the coffee maker last Sunday morning. I will not eat that egg. Fucking creepy.

    I pulled a muscle in my side laughing at that! Brilliant.

    Using for my next writing session’s timed prompt, with your permission. Or not.

  9. I wonder if they have tried asking Siri about the location of MH370.

  10. You’re even good at serious answers. What’s happening with the move to another base?

  11. I must say, I liked 7.2 better than Rantswers® 7.1, despite my own question being answered in 7.1 and not 7.2. You know you done good when you can beat out self-interest… 🙂

    P.S. Do not eat that egg. Fucking Creepy.

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