Archive for vodka

My Sleep Issues – The Final Chapter

Posted in Afghanistan, Awesome, Humor, Random, Rant with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2012 by BrainRants

I have to admit that I really must have milked my snoring problem for about all that it’s worth… almost. I think I get – and you deserve (awesome gold-star winners that you are, my Rants Army!) – to know the dénouement Continue reading

The Liquid Weathervane – Part 2012

Posted in Food, Humor with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 1, 2012 by BrainRants

Today’s offering is of course the follow-up to last year’s (yesterday’s) post inspired by articles that describe what your drink apparently tells others about you. Since I tend to change shit up occasionally by character, Continue reading

My Wife’s Feisty Day

Posted in Awesome, Family, Humor, Random with tags , , , , on August 26, 2011 by BrainRants

Well, my wife is apparently on the mend quite well since she’s regaining her feistiness.  I had to share the love from today, which has been almost non-stop:

Walking into the room while she was watching Hoda and Kathie Lee ooh and aah over some fattening hot mess that included lobster…

  • DI: “Oh, lobster is my absolute favorite.  But its expensive.”
  • ME: “I thought I was your favorite.”
  • DI: “You’re my favorite, babe.”
  • ME: “But I’m cheaper than lobster…”

Driving around town to get more shit-sand for our two hairy shit factories (cats)…

  • DI: “Watch it.  This is a 30 zone.  You’re going 31.”
  • ———– driving…
  • DI: “Bump! Watch it! Jesus!”
  • ———– more driving…
  • DI: “LOOK OUT HE’S TURNING!”
  • ME: “Sweetness, please don’t think for a second that your current handicapped condition won’t stop me from slapping you up.”
  • DI: [calmly] “F you.”
  • ME: “Right.”

Coming in the front gate to our installation, on the way home with a stop at the Class Six (English: convenience store with liquor and smokes)…

  • ME: “Okay, babe, so smokes and beer… anything else?  What do you need?”
  • DI: “Oh f-it.  I didn’t shit myself silly or anything this morning, so get me a tiny vodka.”
  • ME: [almost wrecks car into armed guard while laughing]

You can’t make this shit up, and we probably ought to sell tickets for it.