People You Meet On The Bus

One of the unalloyed joys of being me is the necessity of using public transportation.  Monday through Friday, I haul my carcass

Douchebags In The Sky

Unless you live under a rock or, like me, projectile vomit upon reading or seeing news feeds these days, you’ve heard of the great debate over

Road Trip

Question for you:  Would you drive eight hours, over 550 miles, for a hamburger?  For most people, the answer to this is

A Lurid Tale of Military Weapons Development

Go on over to Long Awkward Pause and check out my twisted screed. I am, apparently, spreading like a fungus.

So I am supposed to write something – whatever pops into my defective head – upon seeing this picture. To be honest, my head about exploded, because Awesome Robot, and because Awesome Safe Sex. Actually, the second one not so much or so awesome, because No Junk Access (JA). Junk Access is important during sex, or so I seem to recall. I digress…Okay, I’ll stop bullshitting, because if you’ve landed here then you’re probably an Olympic-Class Bullshitter (OCB) yourself. Sort of like Howard the ‘Tard (HtT).

I have to admit, Chris found a photo of me. Yes, I know, but I think we all know that Rants (uhm, Me) is a more mature yet less refined blogger who happens to be in the Army. This picture caused me some bemused anal leakage (age issue) and muted pride, which I immediately destroyed (the pride, not the leakage) because Army team players…

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Six Word War

I was trolling the web and came across an interesting story about a fellow brother-in-arms.  It seems this former Marine decided to leverage the power of the internet to communicate

Adventures In Jerseyland

I just returned from my inaugural trip after Afghanistan II on the Army’s behest to go forth and do… stuff.  This one took me to

Getting From A To B

I am guessing that most of us, when we were small humans, heard one or both of our parents tell us this: “Be careful what you wish for.”  In truth, I did hear “Hold out your hands, wish into one, shit in the other, and tell me which fills up first,” far more often, but I was cautioned to beware my

Surprise!

As I sit here in some temporary quarters pecking away at my keyboard with my forehead, it is the Thursday, the 18th of April, 2013.  For my Rants Army out there

Why You Gotta Be A…

Why you gotta be a motherfucker… yeah, I cannot recall how many times someone has asked me that

Embracing The Suck – Part Four

So by now you all must realize I have come and gone already on my not-so-mid-tour leave. If not, go back to February and repeat. If you’re not a regular here, then why the hell not? Got some better blog to hang out on? Anyway, I have more rantaliciousness that I’ve gathered in that effort. I’m astounded that it took me six