Archive for squirrel

Virginia Is For Ranters

Posted in Army, Awesome, Humor, Rant with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 7, 2015 by BrainRants

In case you all out there lost track of time, my relocation from Kansas to Virginia concluded more or less a year ago.  For those of you who do live under rocks Continue reading

When I Grow Up

Posted in Family, Home, Humor with tags , , , , , , , on November 3, 2011 by BrainRants

I love it when I have an interesting and original blog idea. This one is inspired by two loyal members of the Rants Army who cycle through bouts of relative age jokes and accusations of homoerotic activities. Thus provided with …more old Rants…

Tree Rats

Posted in Home, Humor, Rant, Worst with tags , , , , , on August 9, 2011 by BrainRants

Like a lot of you, we have tree rats – squirrels, as you may know them.  I refuse to address or refer to them by any term that implies cuteness because they are evil, malevolent, devil-spawn minions of hell.  Tree Rats are rodents and rodents were enablers for the Dark Ages.

I’ve watched them dig some nutty morsel of food into a carefully-cultivated flower bed, regardless of the fact they will not remember where it is because they have wee little brains.  I’ve also seen them abscond up a tree with a perfect tomato for a drink of water, and then hurl it down five seconds later with three toothy grooves.

I would shoot them but I don’t.  I refrain from murdering them not because I am prohibited from discharging firearms on post, but because I  can’t clear the trajectory line of the bullet.

Wouldn’t want any ricochets winging little kids and shit, now would we?