Archive for retirement

Retardidment: The Medical Shit

Posted in Army, Humor, Rant with tags , , , , , , , , on November 29, 2015 by BrainRants

Yes, I’m still alive.  Some of you lame songwriter hopefuls might be disappointed in this news, but there you go.  I’ve given you two posts Continue reading

Retardidment: The Army Shit

Posted in Army, Humor, Rant with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 13, 2015 by BrainRants

I mentioned here recently that I’m retiring from the military.  I promised to write something entertaining about the three big muscle movements involved, and “Army Shit” is the first.  Before I dive into that Continue reading


Posted in Army, Humor, Rant with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 23, 2015 by BrainRants

I’ve obviously not been posting regularly, even on Long Awkward Pause where I collaborate and contribute.  I’m just about in hot water with them over that but I think I’m dog paddling very well. Continue reading


Posted in Army, Family, Humor, Random, Rant with tags , , , , , on May 30, 2012 by BrainRants

If you’re reading this blog, today should be the 30th of May, 2012. Assuming of course I use the schedule function here correctly, of which there is no real guarantee knowing yours truly, and I wrote this in early March. I also should be somewhere in Kabul, enjoying my second sabbatical in Central Asia. The significance of today is that this will be the final day of Continue reading

Holy Crap! A Moment of Self-Awareness

Posted in Army with tags , on June 10, 2011 by BrainRants

Sitting in my office today I was struck by a disturbing thought: I’ve been in the Army a really long time.  Specifically, that would be in the “more than 19 years” range – bigger than 18, less than 20, as of now, a few days past the mark of an exact 19 to-the-day.  Don’t get me wrong here, because there are folks out there with over thirty years in who are obviously far more patient than I am (and much higher in rank too).  This is completely a self-comparative realization and not valued against others’ service.  In other words, 19 years is a really long damn time.  Wow.

Back when, if asked how long I’d been serving, I’d come up with an answer a lot like our kids do when they’re young and a stranger asks them their age: “Two and one-half years, Sir!”  That extra half-year was important, an entire 20% of the total sum of time.  As junior officers, we would celebrate each annual tick because it was additional street cred with the crusty, experienced NCO’s we supervised that had accumulated their own time in service that was whole-number multiples of ours. 

Six months now only represents 5.5% and the percentage is shrinking by the day.  People also used to ask me whether or not I’d make a career out of the Army, and I’d sarcastically answer, “Dunno.  Come back and ask me in (number) years.”  The word ‘number’ being the digit required, when added to my years in service, that would yield 20.  Twenty years is how long one serves in the military until you become vested for retirement with benefits, in Civilianese.  Part of the ‘Holy Crap’ moment is that I can see that from here now.  Without squinting. 

The question I get more often now is, “Are you retiring soon?”  I normally opt for something optimistic and witty, such as: “Well, I plan on staying in as long as the Army hands me interesting stuff to do.”  That normally comes off better than a cranky-sounding, “Why, do I look that damn old?”  The good news in all this is that to date I’ve been kept quite interested, so much of this is still undecided.

It’s not just a job.  It’s an adventure.