Archive for pants

Clothes, Comfort Optional

Posted in Humor, Random, Rant with tags , , , , , , , on August 30, 2016 by BrainRants

The more dedicated (or deranged, you pick) of you out there followed along on my retirement from the military about this time last year.  This fucktastic process Continue reading

Wasabi Pants

Posted in Awesome, Food, Humor with tags , , on July 25, 2011 by BrainRants

I believe I inadvertently invented a hot new product this weekend: WasabiPants.

The story here is that Di and I decided to get brunch at a local casino.  Modeled on the Vegas ones, they do up a supermegahuge buffet, and we managed to time our arrival perfectly as they switched from the breakfast to the weekend brunch buffet.  Needless to say, I doubt I will need to eat again for a week.  If you’ve never experienced these type of things, they’re pretty awesome.  The food is good enough to make you want to return and try everything, and after five or six plates of deliciousness, the casino’s strategy is that you will have gorged yourself to the point of not being able to walk any farther than the slots.

I of course did my level best to make the establishment realize a financial loss just by letting me eat, and after an hour or so of whipping food at my open mouth and mainly getting most of it in there, I was stuffed.  The carbohydrate overload must have dulled my nervous system, because I got clumsy and spilled the remaining soy and wasabi from my sushi straight into my lap.  Good thing I had black shorts on, or so I thought.  Once outside in the sun, the film of dry wasabi was pretty obvious.  Being a big fan of wasabi myself, I thought I’d possibly found a marketable item.  Di disagreed:

DI:  “Oh God.  Look at your pants.”

ME:  “Yeah.  Aren’t they awesome?”

DI:  “No! You look like you had an accident.”

ME:  “Pfft.  I think I could sell these, maybe on eBay.  Just think about it.”

DI:  “What in the hell are you talking about?”

ME:  “Wasabi Pants.  You know, if you’re out and need some wasabi, well, there it is, right on your pants.”

DI:  (Walks off mumbling to herself)

I should be done with the market research by next week.  Tell your friends, I’m looking for investors.