Archive for no pants

Fred Embraces The Suck

Posted in Afghanistan, Army, Awesome, Fred, Humor, Random, The Suck, Travel with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 31, 2012 by BrainRants

One of the most frustrating things about being here  in The Suck (or, Afghanistan as some people call it) is the condition I live under where I have virtually no time to myself.  Okay, when I’m asleep, technically I get Continue reading

When I Grow Up

Posted in Family, Home, Humor with tags , , , , , , , on November 3, 2011 by BrainRants

I love it when I have an interesting and original blog idea. This one is inspired by two loyal members of the Rants Army who cycle through bouts of relative age jokes and accusations of homoerotic activities. Thus provided with …more old Rants…

Random Thought #20

Posted in Humor, Official Random Thought with tags , , , , , , , on October 20, 2011 by BrainRants

I hate it when my socks get old and lose their stretchy, elastic goodness. When this happens, they stay up for about fifteen purposeful steps, then crumple around the tops of my boots in a defeated green pile.

This feels weird, like I’m walking around with my pants down, but not.

And why does washing them make the dysfunctional ones undetectable again? Then I inevitably pair a good sock with a fail-sock.

The Adventures of Fred: Road Trip

Posted in Family, Fred, Humor, Travel with tags , , , , , on September 2, 2011 by BrainRants
Fred on the way to Illinois (silent 's')
Fred!

Update from the road here today.  We Di decided that we’d go to Mom’s house for Labor Day.  Normally, in the past, this then would have truly been a weekend of Labor.  However, thanks to many long weekends in the past, Mom’s house remains ready to sell (anyone need a really great house in Illinois?)(silent ‘s’).

By now many of you have vicariously experienced my Epic Vacation from Hell here, and know the depleted enthusiasm we now have for road trips.  Even the 5-hour journey to Mom’s pushes the limits of tolerance.  I can also tell you that there are more exciting drives to be had than the one across Missouri.  Not that Missouri is a bad place.  The roads are well-maintained, but they’re awfully straight.  There’s not a lot of variety to the scenery either, and out in the middle-ish part the number of radio stations drops to three-ish.
Anyway, we made it just fine.  Di endured several naps while I remained awake and driving.  Fred elected to come along since he’s not been on a road trip for over a year.  Normally Fred travels in my carry-on for Army travel.  Initially this was an issue but I explained about TSA to him and how they’d probably either profile him or freak out about his lack of pants.  So Fred kicked it on the dash, getting some sun.  Which is easy for him without his pants.  He offered to drive but I pointed out that his wee little legs wouldn’t reach the pedals, and that I thought we’d covered that on a trip to Fort Campbell.
The point here I suppose is that for anyone concerned out there, both Missouri and Illinois are still there and they look much the same.  I had a reflective moment while driving – well, actually about 360 reflective moments of driving – that it had been a while since I’d been out.  At first I was trying to figure out how to drive without pants myself.  After that,  I was trying to rack up some good rants to unload and realized that this entire three-month blog effort to date has been completely between visits with Mom.  We’re looking forward to a good visit with no house projects.

The Adventures of Fred: Coming Home

Posted in Army, Fred, Travel with tags , , on June 17, 2011 by BrainRants

Fred reads his blog post in Colorado Springs

This is just a short Fred post to let everyone know we’re home.  After enduring the usual airline routine and airport hassle, Fred returned to his normal hangout tonight – sitting under a small potted plant in my bathroom.  As usual, the travel burden fell largely on me while Fred napped away the trip in my backpack.  There’s a special little mesh zipper pouch he rides in to prevent him from accidentally falling out and being left behind.  Its sort of like a hammock.

We normally travel like this because Fred has difficulty pulling the rolling luggage, let alone extending the telescoping handle.  Also, he prefers to be anonymous during the whole TSA pat-down routine since he never wears pants.