Archive for cell phone

Rant: That Guy

Posted in Humor, Rant, That Guy, Worst with tags , , , , , , on February 10, 2012 by BrainRants

We’ve all heard the saying, “Dude, don’t be that guy.” [Note: as a former Californian, my use of ‘dude’ indicates one, both, or neither sex.] Being ‘That Guy’ exposes you to the wrath of all around you because you have just crossed a border, line, or other non-permissive barrier that indicates that you are a Continue reading

Rants American Tour: The Final Act

Posted in Army, Humor, Rant, Travel with tags , , , , , , , on December 17, 2011 by BrainRants

Whether you all know it or not, we have just passed a milestone. I’ve been hinting at it for a while, Continue reading

Road Show Update

Posted in Humor, Rant, Travel with tags , , , , , on December 14, 2011 by BrainRants

Suffice it to say that yesterday and on into last night after arriving back in Marvelous Maryland (because alliteration is always awesome) I was about too smoked to type. Okay, I could Continue reading

Rant: Overly-Comfortable People

Posted in Humor, Rant with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 4, 2011 by BrainRants

I am totally all about comfort, and I’ve gone off on this topic before here. My off-duty wardrobe reflects my affirmation of comfort as the azimuth by which I dress myself when not otherwise doing Army stuff. Continue reading


Posted in Humor, Rant with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2011 by BrainRants

I did a blog entry in early August about my thoughts on cell phones (read it here). That was about how I thought of cell phones themselves, and now I think venting about the people who use and abuse them is in order. Since I travel a lot, I have ample opportunity to observe the human animal in its natural habitat. One behavior I can’t seem to come to grips with are people’s intense obsession with their cell phones. Why do people have this need to be connected? Some stuff about them just drives me batshit. Continue reading

Yakkity Gadget

Posted in Best, Humor, Rant, Worst with tags , , , on August 4, 2011 by BrainRants

I’m not sure this is a full-blooded rant or not because I’m not entirely certain how I feel about cell phones.  I have to admit that they are pretty handy, notably in times when there are no other phones available, or you don’t have a quarter, or are flat-out lost in the middle of nowhere and you suddenly hear banjos playing.  Texting can be convenient, though frustrating for cave men like me with big, fat fingers.  Getting email on my phone has, admittedly, saved my ass in the past (see prior blog about Asscratch, Kentucky and the email debacle that ensued here).

A lot of my indecision on this subject probably stems from the whole duality of the situation – the damn things are irritating and necessary at the same time.  I get a lot of entertainment out of watching someone walk around with a bluetooth thingy jammed into their ear talking – apparently – to themselves.  This is why I just stick with the earphone method.  At least people can get a visual clue that I’m not completely schizophrenic and having an argument with myself (I do have arguments with myself, but they stay inside my head).

Having grown up tethered to a wall unit with a rotary dial and a curly-stretchy cord, I like to think that I view cell phones as a convenience versus the latest addition to my collection of bodily organs as my kids seem to think they are.  I could well live without a pimphone but I am pretty sure my middle kid would curl into the fetal position, dessicate, and blow away in a poof of dust if her phone was pried from her skull.  I visualize this much like what happens when you drive a stake through a vampire’s heart, but with more feminine teenage drama.  I often wonder if at some point, the light will turn on and they’ll recognize the value and power of being totally and completely unavailable.  To everyone, not just their parents, I probably should add.

I suppose that is what bothers me the most: not being ‘off the grid.’  As an Army dude, I understand that I kind of have to be available, but there is enough room for abuse of this notion to drive a tank through without scratching the paint.  Some high-attention-needs bosses in my past have left scars that color my view of yakkity gadgets:

ME: [Answering cell phone somewhere past 1AM] “Yes, Sir?”

BOSS: [Wading straight into the 5th call since 9PM] “The brigade commander sent out some notes from the training meeting.  Have you seen them?”

ME:  “Not yet, Sir.  When did he send them?”

BOSS:  “About an hour ago.  I added my thoughts.  Make sure everyone gets and understands them.”

ME:  “WILCO, but would that mean right now, or is later this morning going to be ok?”

BOSS:  “Later is fine, and I think we need to discuss your attitude.”

Someday I imagine a news agency will come interview me because I’m the last living American with a functioning land-line.