Rants Swag

Well, I’ve labored long and hard here, and after many aborted attempts at something moderately cool and awesome, I believe I’ve finally arrived at some stuff you might want to use to decorate your own blog home.

I call this shit swag You can call it shit, or whatever you like.  As I’m sure you’re aware and unsurprised, I don’t give a flying fuck.  Anyway the idea here is this:  I’ve spoken of the Rants Army as well as member club cards for many, many posts over the course of a year and a half.  Then one day, bam!  An idea, right there in my head.  This doesn’t happen often.

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Pure Swag

Pure Swag

First up, the Rants Army Blog Medallion This is kind of like those funky NaNoWriMo things – whatever the hell those are – and the various bullshit awards people chain letter around the blogosphere.  What do you have to do to earn this?  Well, I’d ask that you subscribe to my blog, for one.  Or possibly ask me nicely.  Or you can click the fucking link and steal it all you want to.  Be bold!  But yeah, display it proudly on your own blog to show your Rants Pride.  That, or blow it up into a dartboard size print…

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Don't... whatever... without it!

Don’t… whatever… without it!

Second, the oft-spoken but rarely-seen Rants Member Club Card.  This has been immortalized by yours truly and documented in the “Things I Said Out Loud”  Series. It goes to the notion of someone bitching about their day, and you reply Rantily, “Join the club, asshole.”  Instead, now you can say, “Your member club card is on the way,” and when questioned, you can show them this.  Some downloading, printing and folding required.  Ask for help with scissors.  Batteries not included in your toy but not required for this download.

33 Responses to “Rants Swag”

  1. […] ‘Live’ from Kuwait, just a quick note to direct you to a new page of mine here at BrainRants.  Some of you might be interested in this shit, others not so much.  This is […]

  2. Please sir, can I have a medallion?

  3. Me, too. Please.

  4. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    It depends on what the ranking of my position is in the Rants Army…am I a Major? (Major Whitelady doesn’t sound half bad)

  5. ‘Rants, your wit ad whimsy are only matched by your generosity and love of your fellow man. (Um … you know what I mean!) And you found the one and ONLY price I could afford – free. See? I knew you cared! (Oh for God’s sake, not like THAT, ya prevert!) 😀

  6. Sure, they’re valuable now. But what happens once every Tom, Dick and Erickson opens a Rants franchise?

  7. Looks like the Rants Army has their insignia patches at long last. Me gusta!
    If I have safety scissors do I still have to ask for help?

  8. I’ll get I.T.Erickson to grab two, and then email one to me. No fuss, no muss, no scissors….and I ate the last of the paste.

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