Archive for the Fred Category

Rantswers 2.1

Posted in Awesome, Fred, Humor, Random, Rant, Rantswers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 19, 2013 by BrainRants

All right, Rants Army, here’s the Rantswers for the second round of my advice/punishment column where I take on any and all reader questions.  Another great month Continue reading

Adventures In Jerseyland

Posted in Army, Awesome, Fred, Humor, Random, Rant, Travel with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2013 by BrainRants

I just returned from my inaugural trip after Afghanistan II on the Army’s behest to go forth and do… stuff.  This one took me to Continue reading

Fred Embraces The Suck

Posted in Afghanistan, Army, Awesome, Fred, Humor, Random, The Suck, Travel with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 31, 2012 by BrainRants

One of the most frustrating things about being here  in The Suck (or, Afghanistan as some people call it) is the condition I live under where I have virtually no time to myself.  Okay, when I’m asleep, technically I get Continue reading

Road Wrap Up

Posted in Army, Food, Fred, Humor, Travel with tags , , , , , on January 21, 2012 by BrainRants

As much as I’d like to say this concludes my final trip here before I get off to my new digs in Afghanistan, I’m going to avoid that and not piss of Karma. When I do that, Continue reading

I Must Be Retarded

Posted in Fred, Humor, Rant, Travel with tags , , , , , , on January 19, 2012 by BrainRants

Quite a while back I announced – with some sadness and pride – that my Rants American Tour was coming to a close as I prepared myself mentally and physically for Continue reading

Hitting The Road: Another Update

Posted in Family, Fred, Humor, Travel with tags , , , , , , , on October 23, 2011 by BrainRants

I really wish I were wealthy, so that I could pay someone to follow me and slap me across the face violently to bring me back to my senses when necessary. Then again, …more update…

Hitting The Road: Update

Posted in Family, Fred, Humor, Travel with tags , , , , on October 22, 2011 by BrainRants

Update from near Vail, CO. Di and I are sailing along and doing just fine. Thankfully, she got her old air card fired up and I’m sitting here on my Ranty ass at 70mph blogging. Continue reading

Hitting The Road

Posted in Family, Fred, Humor, Travel with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 22, 2011 by BrainRants

So what does the Rants Army need to know today? I have no idea, but today’s post will be more of a PSA to you all than an actual post, so excuse the rambling nature of this. I figured I’d warn you all that there may be intermittent …more road rants…

The Adventures of Fred: Road Trip

Posted in Family, Fred, Humor, Travel with tags , , , , , on September 2, 2011 by BrainRants
Fred on the way to Illinois (silent 's')

Update from the road here today.  We Di decided that we’d go to Mom’s house for Labor Day.  Normally, in the past, this then would have truly been a weekend of Labor.  However, thanks to many long weekends in the past, Mom’s house remains ready to sell (anyone need a really great house in Illinois?)(silent ‘s’).

By now many of you have vicariously experienced my Epic Vacation from Hell here, and know the depleted enthusiasm we now have for road trips.  Even the 5-hour journey to Mom’s pushes the limits of tolerance.  I can also tell you that there are more exciting drives to be had than the one across Missouri.  Not that Missouri is a bad place.  The roads are well-maintained, but they’re awfully straight.  There’s not a lot of variety to the scenery either, and out in the middle-ish part the number of radio stations drops to three-ish.
Anyway, we made it just fine.  Di endured several naps while I remained awake and driving.  Fred elected to come along since he’s not been on a road trip for over a year.  Normally Fred travels in my carry-on for Army travel.  Initially this was an issue but I explained about TSA to him and how they’d probably either profile him or freak out about his lack of pants.  So Fred kicked it on the dash, getting some sun.  Which is easy for him without his pants.  He offered to drive but I pointed out that his wee little legs wouldn’t reach the pedals, and that I thought we’d covered that on a trip to Fort Campbell.
The point here I suppose is that for anyone concerned out there, both Missouri and Illinois are still there and they look much the same.  I had a reflective moment while driving – well, actually about 360 reflective moments of driving – that it had been a while since I’d been out.  At first I was trying to figure out how to drive without pants myself.  After that,  I was trying to rack up some good rants to unload and realized that this entire three-month blog effort to date has been completely between visits with Mom.  We’re looking forward to a good visit with no house projects.


Posted in Awesome, Fred, Random with tags , , , on July 23, 2011 by BrainRants

Just in case anyone was wondering, Fred and I made it home safely.  Overall, not a bad trip, though as you’ve probably determined at this point, my journey to Asscratch, Kentucky in large part set a new standard for sucky business trips.  While this recalibrates the scale between sucky and awesome, this last one still was ok.  I got a lot done for the Army, although all I did was sit around having thoughts and talking, sort of like running a blog if you think about it.  Kind of funny the Army pays me to have thoughts and then use up some of my words every day expressing them.

I have to shout out to all the folks in BWI and DFW who shook my hand and thanked me for serving, and to the anonymous person in Dallas who paid for my sandwich.  That totally rocks, and you all are awesome.