If you must – like, have to – break protocol and converse with someone in a public restroom while backing out a hairy groaner of a dump, do not use the word, ‘bro.‘ To wit, “Sorry, I’ll be just a minute, bro.”
No. Don’t.
Archive for the Official Random Thought Category
Random Thought #71
Posted in Awesome, Official Random Thought, Random, Rant with tags bros, shit, shitting in public, toilets, weird on February 28, 2018 by BrainRantsRandom Thought #70
Posted in Humor, Official Random Thought, Random with tags beer, change, predictability, random, random thought on September 15, 2016 by BrainRantsLife has taught me that the one thing you can count on to remain unchanging is this: things will change.
There’s some kind of fucked-up metaphysical shit in there. I need a beer.
Random Thought #69
Posted in Humor, Official Random Thought, Random, Rant with tags ass, cable, life, New Horizons, no internet, Pluto, random, random thought, Verizon on May 19, 2015 by BrainRants
Why no electrons?!
We can slingshot a probe around Jupiter to take pictures of Pluto, send one to orbit a comet, and another straight the fuck out of the Solar System. My cable company cannot arrive to fix their equipment sooner than today, after five days of no internet or cable.
Random Thought #68
Posted in Awesome, Official Random Thought, Random with tags 1968 Mustang, awesome, collector car, humor, muscle car, Mustang, random, random thought on April 25, 2015 by BrainRantsYes, I’d pick the old model in the back every time.
Fucking Sweet… the old one…
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*P.S.: I owned a 1968 Mustang in high school. It wasn’t a fastback like this one, which should be a ’66 but looks to be an impossible 64½. Don’t trust the internet.
Random Thought #67
Posted in Awesome, Humor, Official Random Thought, Random with tags accomplishment, allergies, bukkake, humor, plant cum, pollen, random, random thought on April 6, 2015 by BrainRantsPeople with pollen allergies are essentially those who don’t react well to plant cumshots.
Random Thought #66
Posted in Awesome, Humor, Official Random Thought, Random with tags cooking, food, humor, life, my girlfriend, random, random thought, sex, toilet on June 15, 2014 by BrainRantsHere are the three times your nose will be guaranteed to itch:
1. Cleaning the toilet
2. Cooking with meat blood up to your fucking elbow
3. Sex with someone of great significance
Because it sucks ass being me.
Random Thought #65
Posted in Awesome, Food, Humor, Official Random Thought, Random with tags awesome, carrots, food, hate, humor, orange, random, random thought on March 27, 2014 by BrainRantsHoly fuckchunks! Carrots are fucking ORANGE. Like, really orange. Have you stopped and really observed that shit?
I fucking hate the color orange.
Random Thought #64
Posted in Awesome, Humor, Official Random Thought, Random with tags awesome, bubbles, farts, humor, quantum physics, random, random thought on February 28, 2014 by BrainRantsTiny farts and knowledge of physics sucks, because you understand surface tension and partial pressure. That’s what makes the asscrack sweat make the unpoppable bubble of fart jammed deep up your ass.
Random Thought #63
Posted in Official Random Thought, Random, Rant with tags fail, life, random, random thought, rant on January 30, 2014 by BrainRantsI love it when I realize my expectations will always exceed my accomplishments. Good way to stay humble.
Random Thought #62
Posted in Awesome, Humor, Official Random Thought, Random with tags chew toy, humor, random, random thought, rant, WTF on December 23, 2013 by BrainRantsI am God’s chew toy.
BrainRants 