Archive for the Official Random Thought Category

Random Thought #70

Posted in Humor, Official Random Thought, Random with tags , , , , on September 15, 2016 by BrainRants

Life has taught me that the one thing you can count on to remain unchanging is this: things will change.

There’s some kind of fucked-up metaphysical shit in there.  I need a beer.

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Random Thought #69

Posted in Humor, Official Random Thought, Random, Rant with tags , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2015 by BrainRants
Aaaaugghhh!

Why no electrons?!

We can slingshot a probe around Jupiter to take pictures of Pluto, send one to orbit a comet, and another straight the fuck out of the Solar System.  My cable company cannot arrive to fix their equipment sooner than today, after five days of no internet or cable.

Random Thought #68

Posted in Awesome, Official Random Thought, Random with tags , , , , , , , on April 25, 2015 by BrainRants

Yes, I’d pick the old model in the back every time.

Fucking Sweet... the old one...

Fucking Sweet… the old one…

– – – – –

*P.S.: I owned a 1968 Mustang in high school.  It wasn’t a fastback like this one, which should be a ’66 but looks to be an impossible 64½.  Don’t trust the internet.

Random Thought #67

Posted in Awesome, Humor, Official Random Thought, Random with tags , , , , , , , on April 6, 2015 by BrainRants

People with pollen allergies are essentially those who don’t react well to plant cumshots.

Random Thought #66

Posted in Awesome, Humor, Official Random Thought, Random with tags , , , , , , , , on June 15, 2014 by BrainRants

Here are the three times your nose will be guaranteed to itch:

1. Cleaning the toilet

2. Cooking with meat blood up to your fucking elbow

3. Sex with someone of great significance

Because it sucks ass being me.

Random Thought #65

Posted in Awesome, Food, Humor, Official Random Thought, Random with tags , , , , , , , on March 27, 2014 by BrainRants

Holy fuckchunks!  Carrots are fucking ORANGE.  Like, really orange.  Have you stopped and really observed that shit?

 

I fucking hate the color orange.

Random Thought #64

Posted in Awesome, Humor, Official Random Thought, Random with tags , , , , , , on February 28, 2014 by BrainRants

Tiny farts and knowledge of physics sucks, because you understand surface tension and partial pressure.  That’s what makes the asscrack sweat make the unpoppable bubble of fart jammed deep up your ass.