I went and searched for the last edition of Shit I’ve Said Out Loud (which would be Number 10) and discovered that I posted that turd in 2015. Wow. I noticed that I’m accumulating awesome out-loud sayings at a much reduced rate. I think this is due to Continue reading
Archive for the Humor Category
How To Drive Like A Virginian
Posted in Humor, Rant with tags ass, assholes, beer, douchebag, driving, humor, random, rant, traffic, Virginia on August 11, 2016 by BrainRantsAn entire fucking year ago I shat a post about the joys of living in Virginia. Another blogger asked about the state slogan, ‘Virginia is for lovers.’ I say: bullfuckingshit. Lovers might be here, but they’re obviously Continue reading
Where Is Rants?
Posted in Awesome, Family, Fiction, Humor, Random, Rant, Writing with tags ass, bacon, beer, cooking, family, humor, life, news, random, rant, wasps, work, writing on August 8, 2016 by BrainRantsPardon me while I type and eat some Burrito Lasagna, courtesy of my wife, the tiny lady who’s devoting her life to making me epic fat. Because my portion control issue Continue reading
Retardidment: The Job Hunt
Posted in Army, Awesome, Economy, Family, Humor, Rant with tags boobs, job search, midgets, money, rent. worry, resume, stress on January 18, 2016 by BrainRantsHere we go again with the bitter Rantings® of a man forced to stop doing the one job he loved and actually could do without serious consequences. Yeah, that’s me, BrainRants®. I’m tired of linking more than three times to previous posts, so I made a whole new RantsPage® to collect this assemblage of awesomehood. Continue reading
Retardidment: The Medical Shit
Posted in Army, Humor, Rant with tags Army, ass, beer, doctors, humor, obamacare sucks, rant, retirement, semen sample on November 29, 2015 by BrainRantsYes, I’m still alive. Some of you lame songwriter hopefuls might be disappointed in this news, but there you go. I’ve given you two posts Continue reading
Retardidment: The Army Shit
Posted in Army, Humor, Rant with tags Army, beer, equipent, humor, life, news, no fucks given, rant, retirement, substance abuse, WTF on November 13, 2015 by BrainRantsI mentioned here recently that I’m retiring from the military. I promised to write something entertaining about the three big muscle movements involved, and “Army Shit” is the first. Before I dive into that Continue reading
Retardidment
Posted in Army, Humor, Rant with tags Army, blog, job search, life, neckties, news, rant, retirement, VA, WTF on October 23, 2015 by BrainRantsI’ve obviously not been posting regularly, even on Long Awkward Pause where I collaborate and contribute. I’m just about in hot water with them over that but I think I’m dog paddling very well. Continue reading
A Great Debate Question
Posted in Awesome, Humor, Politics, Random with tags awesome, debate, fat bottom girls, freddie mercury, humor, news, politics, question, random on September 17, 2015 by BrainRantsIn light of the ongoing stupidity of election debates, staged so that we can pick the least-worst pudknocker to lead us Continue reading
Dreams Do Come True
Posted in Awesome, Humor with tags awesome, bacon, beer, big brass balls, blog, Donald Trump douche, humor, life, Marine Corps Ball, Marines, Mila Kunis, news, Ronda Rousey on September 2, 2015 by BrainRantsYou might have seen recent news about something really cool. No, I’m not referring to Trump’s latest stupid verbal fart that notched his dumb ass up a point in polls. I’m talking about Continue reading
The Sweet Taste of Shit
Posted in Awesome, Home, Humor, Rant with tags birds, Coors Lite, drinking shit, eating shit, lawn care, scatalogical shit, shit, shit shit shit shit shit shit on July 24, 2015 by BrainRantsStand back, because this is the kind of thing that truly – truly – can only happen to me. You actually might want to sit down. Ready? I can wait, because Continue reading
