About the Ranter

I’ve put off doing an “about” page for me because I was trying to come up with some kind of shit that is funny, worth reading, and yet doesn’t provide enough personal details for some whackjob stalker type out there to come leave dead animal messages on my doorstep, or mail me those cool cut-out-letter death threats.

I’m an average guy in my 40’s with the usual interests and hobbies.  I like to sublimate my frustrations and anger through humorous writing.  I estimate that about 203,587 people are still alive because of this talent.

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92 Responses to “About the Ranter”

  1. the Outcast Says:

    I bet you’re a BLAST at parties….haha pun intended. You have a funky blog here, and it’s cool, so keep writing until the whackjob stalkers get ya.

  2. Thanks for landing on my blog because now I get to enjoy yours.

  3. This is the second great About page I’ve read today. Love it.

  4. I’ve been writing blogs for a long, long time – whack jobs are part of the territory – never had one show up at the door, but I sure have pissed a bunch of them off. That’s why all keyboards come with a built-in delete key. Especially useful for when you poke fun at people. Have fun with this – writing is a great outlet and blogging is a super way to meet some folks who truly have a way with words thus making you feel completely insignificant and toad-like. cheers.

  5. John Erickson Says:

    Well, shame on me for not posting a “Glad to be here” entry on this About page! Please forgive a humble Internet pilgrim with a mind like a sieve, a truly horrific sense of humour, and endless reserves of wit – dim, nit, of half, take your pick, I’ve got all 3.
    We HAVE to talk offline sometime about your “making things go boom toys”. I bet I’ve been in more running tanks than you have! (Ever ride in an M-5 with the twin Cadillac V-8s? Smooooooth! 😀 )

    • More variants, possibly. My “boom” is based on the glorious M1A1 MBT. Awesome. We can debate anytime just hit me up.

      • John Erickson Says:

        Yeah, I meant different variants. Stuart, M22 Locust, German (ex-Czech) Hetzer, even a couple scout cars.
        You have brainrants. I have brain farts. More annoying, trust me.

  6. Keep on ranting, Brain! It’s the only way we can find like minds. If you point out something stupid and someone doesn’t react in the same manner, they’re suspect. If they agree with you, let ’em on the bus.

  7. I’m downright happy to have found your blog . Really I am , and after reading your about page , I can see there are quite a few similarities …. apart from the 20+ years between.

  8. I’ve nominated you for a versatile blogger award , yes I know you consider it spam , but I needed a few people to unload on :p

  9. Awesome blog.
    Will be back! 😉

  10. Great wry humor – the best kind. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I have to admit I found the comment colloquoy on that post (with your additional fuel) almost as entertaining as the story itself. I survived this last deployment on humor. If only I had some of your beans, it would have been so much easier.

  11. Brain, I believe you would find my Halloween post entertaining. I’m sorry, but I’m drunk right now and I cannot control me.

  12. http://archonsden.wordpress.com/

    love your discription of your visit to the Sleep Clinic. have been there twice & never thought to be bold enough to just walk out. must keep this manoeuvre in mind for next time. Mrs ArchonsDen

  13. Hey, just dropping a link to my blog in case you are interested. http://ladyryl.wordpress.com

    aka Archonsden’s daughter

  14. Hey buddy, Wish you Happy Christmas and wonderful years ahead 🙂

  15. Due to active service, I also have an unnerving affinity for high explosives and making things go “BOOM!!” before they disintegrate.

    Wasn’t a Rupert though, no Army in its right mind would have left me in charge.

    Peace
    &
    Is there a cherry picked list of posts to read?

  16. Happy New Year 2012 🙂 have fun

    Zahir 🙂

  17. pursuitofhappieness Says:

    administrivial=my new favorite word lol

  18. […] edition of 20 Questions features the popular and prolific Brainrants.  If you’re unfamiliar with Brainrants, I think it’d be safe to describe his style as “blunt.”  He posts something every day (which […]

  19. Dear BrainRants,
    I love you.
    Love Dotty xxx

  20. I nominated for the blogger’s version of a chain letter award.
    http://wp.me/p1GyrV-nK

  21. I gave you the Glitter E. Yaynus award, my Army friend!

  22. Every once in a while, I encounter another upright biped who seems compelled to execute swan dives off the three meter board and then, as an afterthought, checks to see if there is any water in the pool.

    Wise choice, the military. That way, you get to blow things up legally and do other stuff that others, like me, would get arrested for. As an alternative, I learned to run like hell, accumulate large, hairy friends, and bullshit without blinking. When all else fails, I can don a blank look and play dumb, a shtick that’s easier to get away with now that I’m a certified old fart.

    I also notice that you seem to like the word “shit”.

    Nicetameetcha.

  23. Posted a ‘like’ to your post ‘mea culpa.’ Not for the apology, but that you have gotten yourself in a pickle with the country that you serve. Didn’t see the blog or the comments you referred to. It just pisses me off that an a-hole would throw crap at you… while you fight for HIS right for free speech.
    Couldn’t find the reply button on the post.
    Love your blog and keep on keeping on with your rants, stories and experiences.
    xx

    • I took the comment and like features off the page intentionally, sorry Rachel. And it’s not being in trouble with the government, so there is that. I’m fixing the problem, rest assured. I’m glad you “get” some of the ironies of life inside my skin.

  24. Hello! I’ve nominated you for the versatile blogger award. Details below.
    http://dontquotelily.wordpress.com/2012/08/01/sometimes-i-wish-i-could-hug-you/
    Thanks!

  25. Hey Rants ~ I apologize for continuing to ‘feed the trolls’ just now, after you’d so eloquently ended that thread! I committed the sin of not reading all the comments before I threw my two cents in…

    I appreciate what you have to say, and that you DO say it, even when I disagree with parts of it.

    Rock On, my friend!

    • I agree and like your PTSD addition. I cannot agree with your defense of filling our ranks with general pop’s from our prisons, however. Bad idea, and the Military can’t be social rehab. We’ve already proven that won’t work.

      • I’m not assuming that there would be any less diligence in approving recruits from prisons! Just that it might be fertile ground.
        The military is already often cast in the role of ‘de facto social rehab’, by parents, judges, and individuals who recognize their own weaknesses and see an opportunity to ‘work on it’ with structure.

  26. There, I rated this 5 stars because I love your posts and support our troops big time. If I give you my email address will you write & tell me what you want within reason? I’m on a small fixed income but would be happy to send you chocolate and socks for Christmas, if you’d allow me. I’m an artist & I’ll also send a hand- painted card. No sickeningly sweet sentiments or anything. Just give a little list of a few things so I can surprise you. In thanks for your crazy fucking blog. 11/18/12

  27. Hey, member of the Stuph Maphia™ who dutifully read your latest rant. Love it! Am now a minion, er, follower (returns to her interwebs cave).

  28. Dang! Came to this page trying to figure out which state you’re in so I can ship some dead (Canadian) animal carcasses your way… Oh well, maybe later. Kat

  29. We have something in common, Couldn´t get into US army, tried when I was at the university, the recruiter almost hit me in the head when I showed my ID…student visa. Fucking asshole told me that if I thought it would get me citizenship, next option Spain, land of the wild bulls, Spanish Legion and deployed. And you don´t write about the army, like some dick face I´ve seen around here venting political or mental frustrations. Maybe a little harsh, but I lived it, I prefer writing funny ironic things, that´s how I vent and not live in the past. I´ll start reading some of your stuff as……of right now.

  30. I actually meant about t being deployed and coming back with PTSD, touchy subject, but I rather read funny interesting shit.

  31. […] something garbled and incoherent and perhaps vaguely sweet (if you’re feeling generous) to Brain_Rants, a very new acquaintance who I should be trying to impress with cleverness and panache.  […]

  32. You are keeping lots of people alive with this talent of yours!
    It seems you just added one more, soldier -:)!

  33. You’re a funny bugga aren’tcha? Lookin’ forward to goin’ down this rabbit hole of yours (fox hole?). Keep up the great work man. Respect REDdog

  34. Rant, I just had to share this with you. Are these the kind of sheets you use when out in the field? LOL
    http://themetapicture.com/when-soldiers-choose-their-own-bed-sheets/

  35. Nice “About” Rants. 😉

  36. […] of words that weren’t made up for polite company, he saluted Matticus. “I’m BrainRants, Jester. I’m leading this […]

  37. Let’s be pals. Lol. Let me change my diaper first

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