Random Thought #71

If you must – like, have to – break protocol and converse with someone in a public restroom while backing out a hairy groaner of a dump, do not use the word, ‘bro.‘  To wit, “Sorry, I’ll be just a minute, bro.”

No.  Don’t.

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10 Responses to “Random Thought #71”

  1. Since I am a female, this unlikely to happen. Just in case, duly noted.

    • I’d imagine hearing a woman responding with, “[Words], bro,” in the shitter would be even more disturbing.

      • It could happen, though not by me. I was waiting to go and I heard laughter coming from the Womens bathroom. There were only two stalls. The cashier must have noticed the not so subtle look of, “Hurry the fuck up so I can use the bathroom.” on my face. She points to the Mens bathroom and tells me it has a stall and that I could use it. As tempting as it was, I declined. Why must women be so chatty in the bathroom? It sounds sexist but it isn’t.

        Your random thoughts make me think.

        • Cockblocking the can – so to speak – should be a crime.

          • Ugh. I was just going to say something along the lines of no shit (pun intended) I agree. There were dudes in the place and I didn’t want to invade the space. Of course, the Blogiverse has a way of spewing events that inspire fodder, and keep topics like this relevant. It also messes with my karma. Here is a wee bit more.

            So, I still take my trips back to my home state. I was returning to my current state. At the 150 mile point in my trip, I stop to refuel and pee. Today, the women bathroom was out of order. The gas station made it clear with two signs. The first stated that the womens bathroom was out of order. The second had an arrow that pointed to the mens bathroom and said to use the mens, which was about four inches to the right of the womens. For all avoidance of doubt, crates blocked the entrance to the womens batbroom.

            I cringed at the karma. I turned the door handle on the mens room. Typically, these are locked when in use, no? No. I turned the handle, which gave freely and opened the door. Inside, was a guy pissing his business out. I slammed the door, turned my head, and involuntarily hissed the words of.a name that rhymes with Beezus Riced.

            As I turned to resume my place in line, an older gentleman laughed and remarked that it must be one of his. He was still laughing. I gave him that look and he said that his kids don’t lock the bathroom doors at home either. He then said that it wasn’t so and so. I wanted to yell and tell him that I couldn’t unsee what I just saw and I really didn’t care which one it was. I should have added ‘bro’ to my thought.

            The kid came out. I did my business. The mom of the clan told the dad that they should probably use the rest areas in the future.

            No shit. :\

          • Two words:
            Astronaut
            Diapers

  2. I think it would be hilarious to have a conversation with your poo while others listen outside your stall. You know, offering words of encouragement and thanking it for its efforts before you flush. I guarantee they will leave you alone in your cube from now on.

  3. You could try a Shamrock shake. I hear that they help ‘lubricate’ things, to help cut the wait time. Another benefit is that, any guy who could be addressed as ‘Bro’, will not speak to any guy who would drink such a chi-chi shake. 🙄

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