Acquiring Stuff
I have to introduce you to my latest big success. I found this one day on my walk home from my bus drop-off point. For several weeks, I’d tracked a ‘for sale’ sign in front of a house. Then, the sign disappeared and people showed up. Days later, the garage filled with new appliances and cabinets. On my walk home, I spotted my prize sitting on the curb for haul-away.
One quick question to the soon-to-be-non-owner was, “Does it work?” The guy said yes, and also bent to my effervescent personality when I asked if I could have it for the cost of hauling it away. Total win.
Thank the old gods and the new that this happened on a Friday. Because, like all y’all, I love nothing better than to spend my Friday night cleaning out one of these beasts, sometimes with bleach and Q-tips (mold issues)(gag). In the end, the effort was worth it, even my half-thrown lower back from trying to lift this beast, or at least slide-dragpush it in and out of the Blazer / War Wagon (yes, I’m still driving that P.O.S.).
You should know this acquisition filled a gap in appliances that we here at Chez Rants identified months ago. We deliberated over how much to spend on a new model, or whether to go with a smaller one. We even considered being murdered and then raped by trying Craigslist.
My keen eye and persuasive nature prevailed. Also, I have no shame, so even dumpster-diving for quality bits of wood is not beyond me. I displayed my trophy to my wife with pride. It was clean, smelled like bleach and ready for work.
The next day and a trip to the source of all parking frustration known as WalMart for an extra extension cord later, I plugged it in and fired it up. It functioned perfectly, when wired into the ceiling plug not hooked to the damn light switch.
Now my quest turned to a good sale, and one on my favorite drug of choice. Being a shitty beer bloodhound, I found one, and more work ensued. Through a sweaty, humid afternoon in the South, I ripped, hefted and worked. I also donated blood to the Neighborhood Mosquito Blood Bank. Yay.
Here’s the result:
This. Just. This.
I have no idea why my wife was less than thrilled with the end result. I mean, who doesn’t need an extra refrigerator in the garage? Seriously.
PS – the thermometer (free with non-purchase) reads 33°. Hell yes.
BrainRants 
August 11, 2015 at 17:37
That’s a whole lot of beer, Rants. The amount someone might store if they knew some kind of apocalypse was heading his way. Someone who works in the Pentagon, perhaps.
WHAT AREN’T YOU TELLING US, RANTS?!?
August 11, 2015 at 17:52
Even if I knew anything, it would be classified. Don’t worry, all the zombies live and work in the Capitol Building.
August 11, 2015 at 18:37
Great score! Looks like it’ll hold enough for a day or two. You have two reefers in the garage? Shoot, just tell her about my neighbor; he’s got four, one for meat, three for beer.
Reminds me of that old joke; Got a used computer for my girlfriend…. Great trade!….
Now all you need is a dog who will fetch the beers….
Enjoy the rest of the summer; you’ve got the tools…. 😉
gigoid
August 11, 2015 at 18:38
It’s only one in the garage, but thanks, dude!
August 11, 2015 at 21:53
Nice. And I see the fridge is filled with that most critical of items…beer. Bravo Zulu!
August 12, 2015 at 09:03
And now the ‘task’ of rotating stock begins.
August 12, 2015 at 01:02
Total win, dude.
August 12, 2015 at 09:03
Way total.
August 12, 2015 at 09:56
Fabulous, great story, great find. You never know: my motto has always been ( be prepared). Lol
August 12, 2015 at 12:57
Either that or ‘well-stocked.’
August 12, 2015 at 14:26
I have considered a second refrigerator for beer, but it might significantly reduce my life expectancy. I have absolutely no system for the rate at which I consume whatever beer is in the house. If I have two beers in the fridge, that will be the amount I end up drinking tonight. If I have sixty beers in the fridge, that will be the amount I end up drinking tonight. The answer is to only have two beers in the fridge.
August 12, 2015 at 14:47
Amazing – I use the same system. I’ve learned to be Zen about it all and go with it.
August 13, 2015 at 20:09
A co-worker used to budget for one case of beer a week. Someone told him about brew-it-yourself. For the same amount of money, he could make 3-1/2 cases, but it had no preservatives, and had to be drunk in a week or go bad. His liver insisted on going back to one case of good stuff. 😯
August 13, 2015 at 20:29
I used to brew beer at home. It was a great hobby when the beer turned out well. Two bottles of homemade ale was my standard gift to every friend. But when you make something average or bad it becomes quite the burden to consume it all yourself.
August 13, 2015 at 22:10
TGG – but free/cheap beer… dude. That is a reason for living.
August 13, 2015 at 22:05
I think I need to contact this guy.
August 18, 2015 at 12:03
before considering brewing your own beer….read this: https://sightsnbytes.wordpress.com/2011/10/12/pine-beer-and-bikers-from-michigan/
August 18, 2015 at 12:31
Now that just rocks.
August 12, 2015 at 16:02
The only thing I would add is perhaps a bottle or two of rum on the door, there’s room!
August 12, 2015 at 19:36
I keep the hard stuff up high, since I’m 6’1″ and everyone else here is 5’6″ or under. I’m evil, and I suck.
August 12, 2015 at 20:59
Job well done.
August 12, 2015 at 21:42
And coming from someone who knows a good job done when he sees one. Thanks!
August 13, 2015 at 10:13
Party at Rants’!
August 13, 2015 at 11:18
Yes, but BYOB. What’s pictured is my stuff.
August 13, 2015 at 23:22
Gotcha
August 15, 2015 at 08:33
😀
August 13, 2015 at 20:20
Brits may drink good micro-brewery beer, but they drink it piss-warm. Lots of Americans aren’t much better. The bar in my home town served the coldest beer in Southern Ontario – and it was only 35 deg. If I come to visit, I’ll ship a case of real Canadian beer to chill. We got a new one, with 6.4% alcohol. 😉
August 13, 2015 at 22:06
Deal, done and sealed. I’ll have it between 32 and 34 degrees – F, since y’all are all metric and shit.
August 17, 2015 at 07:29
It looks like Rants has the first requirement of the “lost weekend”, a fridge full of beer. Now, I can just see him sitting in the front of his garage, with the door open watching the world go by, so as not to be too far from the refreshments. 😉
August 17, 2015 at 07:43
I wish I had time to sit idle. But the new ‘fridge is near my usual area of activity.
August 17, 2015 at 07:48
At least when it gets contaminated this time, it will be by sawdust, not bird lime. 😛
August 17, 2015 at 08:54
True. That’s much better for digestion, too.
August 18, 2015 at 05:31
Okey ..
August 18, 2015 at 07:33
Yep.
August 18, 2015 at 22:05
yep.
August 19, 2015 at 15:57
I’ll see your ‘yep’ and raise you an un’huh.
August 19, 2015 at 19:45
only messing der boss, thats a cracker of a job there hi, and full to the gills with beers, sure there’s noubt wrong with that hi. Hard tae bate sah !
August 19, 2015 at 20:05
Yeah, mon hi.
August 29, 2015 at 09:12
It’s a thing of beauty.
August 29, 2015 at 11:13
I know, right?
August 30, 2015 at 17:43
Cool blog! I just started blogging and could do with some advice. Could you give me some cause I haven’t got a clue!
August 30, 2015 at 18:51
Post daily and write about something trending that people want to read… in YOUR own way.
August 31, 2015 at 03:42
Thanks! I really appreciate your help but I do have problems writing in diaries cause I feel like I need to write in them every day. I’ll try my best though. 😊
August 31, 2015 at 05:10
Don’t think of it as a diary. More of a one-sided conversation.
August 31, 2015 at 07:14
Thanks! I’ll use your advice.
August 31, 2015 at 07:42
Awesome!