Flash Fiction – 12th Ed.

The big upside to flash fiction sites is that they allow you to practice writing within a deceptively challenging genre.  At first you think, ‘Oh, one-hundred words?  How damn hard can that be?”  Right.

The downside is that sometimes the picture prompts don’t resonate.  I’m all about the challenge of creating where no inspiration lies (which is what we writers often do – it’s called ‘writer block’).  However, after 23 years in the military and being told what to do, sometimes I like to say, ‘Go screw.’

Today, the photo prompt resonated.  If you want to try your hand at flash fiction, I’d recommend Rochelle’s Blog.  She has simple rules and a great publicity link for your work.  Also, she’s got mad networking skills, and thus presents a weekly prompt.

Photo copyright - Stephen Baum

Photo copyright – Stephen Baum

THE LIGHT

Lela didn’t realize at first what she saw.  Intense sunlight poured in through the emergency vents.

“Mama, there’s lights on outside,” Lela said.

Her mother stood with a slack jaw and dropped Lela’s hand.  Lela looked to her Noni.

“Noni?  Lights!”

A smile rearranged Noni’s mass of weathered wrinkles.  She said, “Yes, child.  First time since they brought water to Mars.”

“The astroid?” Lela asked, “The one from the story?”

Noni, a tiny woman from a place called Earth, nodded.

“Yes, an asteroid, child,” Noni’s eyes twinkled like stars, “you’re so very bright.”

(93 words)

– – – – –

I appreciate all comment and critique, unless you came merely to troll me.  In that case, might I invite you out the airlock?

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44 Responses to “Flash Fiction – 12th Ed.”

  1. Oh this one bring the magic of Sci-Fi alive.. it’s less about the Science but more about longing in reality.

  2. With flash fiction, no room to waste. Also sometimes difficult to get good flow and rhythm.
    “A smile rearranged Noni’s mass of weathered wrinkles.” You said a lot with this line.
    Well done

  3. Excellent! Your mini-scenario gave a lot of information in very few words all of which definitely resonated with me…. I happen to believe settling Mars, but, more importantly, the Asteroid Belt, is our best bet for saving our species from extinction…. Unlimited resources there in the Belt…. And it takes less power to survive in space than on a planet, once established…. Your short piece gives a very good feel of the probable/possible scenario that may develop when (hopefully not ‘if’) that happens…

    gigoid

  4. Ah. I’m not usually fond of sci-fi, but this got a smile 🙂 I wonder if Noni’s smile is a happy one, seeing light after a while. She might have missed it all the while.

  5. Dear BR,

    I enjoyed this bit of sci-fi. It reminds me of Heinlein and Bradbury stories. Nicely done. I’m glad the prompt resonated with you this week.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  6. I couldn’t help but laugh at the line “you’re so bright”.

  7. This is, quite literally, out of this world 🙂

  8. Seems they’ve been out of touch so long, resupply is only an idea in stories? Yikers! That’s a hard life, but I imagine starting a Mars colony won’t be easy for the people in it. These folks seem like survivors. You characterized them really well. Great story!

    I liked what you said in the intro. Only one hundred words? Should be a slam-dunk…right? Telling a full story in so few words is rough, difficult, frustrating, and ultimately highly rewarding.

  9. I like the sci-fi and the message of hope.

  10. This is so cute

  11. Seeing the picture, I would not have that take. Nice. I’m sure your five books will sell fabulously.

  12. Melanie Says:

    All 93 words perfectly executed. I get a sense of Lela age, of her mother’s shock, and Noni’s age and infinite wisdom; a good sense of the timeframe, the history, and the culture of survival on this distant planet; and a hint that there may have been a family tragedy (no mention of Lela’s father and with 7 words to spare, had he been there, you’d have mentioned him). You crammed an entire story into this. Nicely done.

  13. I liked how the mother spoke volumes in her silence. Very clever.

  14. Living in tunnels for so long must be very hard. I love Mars stories. 🙂

  15. https://howtolivecoach.wordpress.com Hey ! Im new to blogging and would love some views! My blog is about life, relationships, and more.

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