Why no electrons?!
We can slingshot a probe around Jupiter to take pictures of Pluto, send one to orbit a comet, and another straight the fuck out of the Solar System. My cable company cannot arrive to fix their equipment sooner than today, after five days of no internet or cable.
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This entry was posted on May 19, 2015 at 10:34 and is filed under Humor, Official Random Thought, Random, Rant with tags ass, cable, life, New Horizons, no internet, Pluto, random, random thought, Verizon. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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BrainRants 
May 19, 2015 at 10:59
Um, hmm… Greed? Indifference? Maybe, just maybe, they’re fuckheads?
At least you’ve got that massive deck to fall back on. So to speak…
You have, of course, my empathies; been there, hated it. Since you posted, they must have finally arrived, so, perhaps a bit of revenge? Take some of your money back from them, for the time you lost online…. They hate that…
Good luck…
gigoid
May 19, 2015 at 11:04
I’m way ahead of you on that money idea, Gigoid. Not sure if they’ve arrived yet – I’m chained in my cube.
May 19, 2015 at 11:10
Ah.. got it… Well, when you break out of the cube, (a bit of sulfuric acid on the chains works well, I’m told….), pop a cold one on the deck, or six, and it will all look better….
May 19, 2015 at 11:11
Beer makes everything look awesome.
May 19, 2015 at 11:07
Cable companies are way too powerful! Even here in Canada! I’ve just gone through something similar, although I did not lose my internet.
May 19, 2015 at 11:11
Lucky you. We’re starved for data.
May 19, 2015 at 12:56
I say you start your own cable company called Rantscast!
Imagine a channel that livestreams video from outerspace! Or a ’round the clock Star Trek channel. Or how about the “Surly” hour where you rant about…well, everything?
Then there will be the adult channel where you air “porn” that is comprised of Abrams Tanks, the SR-71 Blackbird and Sam Elliot’s mustache.
May 19, 2015 at 15:00
Yes! I could host user-submitted audio/video of the messiest shits they’ve managed to capture on tape… or instructional stuff like, ‘How to Pummel Your Irritating Cube Mate.’
May 19, 2015 at 15:35
With actual pummels!
May 19, 2015 at 15:40
Yes! People will actually be harmed in making the videos.
May 19, 2015 at 19:27
We gave the last guy a beer and before he left he gave us his home/direct number and said call him anytime and he’d make sure we’d get to the top of his repair order list. So far so good.
(Ellis is right.)
May 19, 2015 at 19:31
H.E. is very intuitive when it comes to dealing with fucktards and with nailing can’t-fail podcast programs. I’ll keep the beer idea in mind, but am I supposed to give this mouth-breather MY beer?
May 19, 2015 at 19:54
You want your cable/internet or not? We were desperate.
May 20, 2015 at 04:49
I guess I could get some St. Pauli Girl or Lone Star for them.
May 19, 2015 at 23:40
They can, but they won’t…Bwahaha..that is not laughing at you…boo cable company. Hope you get it soon.
May 20, 2015 at 04:48
It’s fixed now.
May 20, 2015 at 08:13
At least you now know the average wait time.
May 20, 2015 at 08:59
Fuck Verizon and their average wait time.
May 21, 2015 at 06:43
True. Still had to wait…other cable providers available? Don’t think they’d be much better, still…like H.E. says, you could start your own, but you can’t control all the shit in this world. Your company would likely fall victim to cable-itis, too. Inevitable.
May 21, 2015 at 08:46
Only after I ramp up the site and sell it for an outrageous asspile of cash.
May 19, 2015 at 23:41
Lol perfect 69 fading thought.
May 20, 2015 at 04:50
Uhm… ok.
May 19, 2015 at 23:44
I would need medication for withdrawal if that happened. To avoid such trauma I maintain triple back-up internet enabled devices. We lost all services for two weeks after tornadoes wiped everything above ground out. I was forced to live like a caveman. Life was strangely quiet and peaceful. I nearly went insane.
May 20, 2015 at 04:50
Quiet I like. But no internet?
May 21, 2015 at 08:55
That’s cause the cable company doesn’t give a fuck. They get your money and know there’s no one else you can switch to.
May 21, 2015 at 09:19
There are three companies here in Virginia. One is called ‘Cox,’ and I hesitate to tell anyone “I’m switching to Cox” on the phone.
May 21, 2015 at 09:22
I imagine telling people that you’re switching to Cox would be rather….hard.
May 21, 2015 at 09:36
Yes, it’s a lot to take in.
May 31, 2015 at 19:58
I love the little animated illustration of frustration. It made me laugh and I value any and all sources of laughter in my life.
June 1, 2015 at 07:55
Glad I could help!
August 13, 2015 at 16:46
The animation alone brought me to your blog haha hilarious, looks like me on a Monday morning 😛
August 13, 2015 at 22:04
Every Monday for me, yes.
November 12, 2015 at 00:01
nice animation hahaha
November 12, 2015 at 07:27
Thanks!