I Have A Massive Deck
So twenty-five days later (not 28), I’ve completed screwing with my new, huge deck. Don’t worry, pictures of my deck are below, if your screen is large enough to show them in all their massive glory. I think I’m digressing, so I’ll move the hell on.
I posted last month about this labor-for-awesome, no-cost project. The total of the materials, about $460, I’ll deduct from my rent. In return, my landlord gets an increased property value and an awesome backyard feature. I got to play with wood, which is totally awesome. Actually, my landlord is considering a labor fee so he can deduct more in taxes. Yours truly isn’t resisting much.
Anyway, the last you read here, I’d started laying down boards. I progressed slowly at first, taking gentle care with my wood so that the overall effect wouldn’t be ruined. My main concern was inducing skew in the boards, which would cause uneven overlap in the end piece. Not to fear, I didn’t even ruin anything. A few times, I thought I’d cut my wood wrong, but I found I was merely mistaken. Such is the business of throwing your wood around.
Anyway, you can see that the dark stain and careful work made a great deck. In fact, my big deck got bigger just by me fiddling with it. I notched the boards around the railing uprights and added a total of six inches to the overall girth of the deck. If you’re not impressed with that, I’m not sure you should bother reading further. That said, all the wood got laid well, and my deck is actually more sturdy than some interior floor spots in my house.
Once I’d finished erecting the deck, I turned to the steps. They were in horrible shape and were misconceived in their design. I studied the problem and figured out a way in. As I mentioned, I’d ordered one long board extra. That became the treads and one reinforcing piece. The rest I salvaged from the best of the old deck. When done, the new steps have no tread wobble and don’t sway when you go down.
This last part was later inspiration. I knew I had to conserve my wood carefully, so I checked to make sure I could throw more wood around at will in the back yard. The idea was to make a decklet, or tiny deck. Even tiny decks can apparently be useful, because with my second, small deck, I can water every plant in my yard without getting mud on my shoes. Bonus!
So this project is complete. My next, smaller problems are to make some steps to help penetrate the 12″ step over the garage’s back door. After that, I’ll slap some wood down deeper into the yard toward the fire pit we built. If I still have wood left over, I’ll connect the garage exit and the tiny deck, so the small one won’t look so insignificant.
I should have been a general contractor.
This entry was posted on May 16, 2015 at 00:22 and is filed under Awesome, Home, Humor with tags awesome, bacon, big deck, blog, humor, landscaping, life, massive deck, nebulous sex-related dick jokes, news, playing with my wood, stupid dick jokes, wood. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.