I Have A Massive Deck

So twenty-five days later (not 28), I’ve completed screwing with my new, huge deck.  Don’t worry, pictures of my deck are below, if your screen is large enough to show them in all their massive glory.  I think I’m digressing, so I’ll move the hell on.

I posted last month about this labor-for-awesome, no-cost project.  The total of the materials, about $460, I’ll deduct from my rent.  In return, my landlord gets an increased property value and an awesome backyard feature.  I got to play with wood, which is totally awesome.  Actually, my landlord is considering a labor fee so he can deduct more in taxes.  Yours truly isn’t resisting much.

Anyway, the last you read here, I’d started laying down boards.  I progressed slowly at first, taking gentle care with my wood so that the overall effect wouldn’t be ruined.  My main concern was inducing skew in the boards, which would cause uneven overlap in the end piece.  Not to fear, I didn’t even ruin anything.  A few times, I thought I’d cut my wood wrong, but I found I was merely mistaken.  Such is the business of throwing your wood around.


My wood, with beer can for scale


Anyway, you can see that the dark stain and careful work made a great deck.  In fact, my big deck got bigger just by me fiddling with it.  I notched the boards around the railing uprights and added a total of six inches to the overall girth of the deck.  If you’re not impressed with that, I’m not sure you should bother reading further.  That said, all the wood got laid well, and my deck is actually more sturdy than some interior floor spots in my house.

Once I’d finished erecting the deck, I turned to the steps.  They were in horrible shape and were misconceived in their design.  I studied the problem and figured out a way in.  As I mentioned, I’d ordered one long board extra.  That became the treads and one reinforcing piece.  The rest I salvaged from the best of the old deck.  When done, the new steps have no tread wobble and don’t sway when you go down.


Straight, sturdy and ready to take a load


This last part was later inspiration.  I knew I had to conserve my wood carefully, so I checked to make sure I could throw more wood around at will in the back yard.  The idea was to make a decklet, or tiny deck.  Even tiny decks can apparently be useful, because with my second, small deck, I can water every plant in my yard without getting mud on my shoes.  Bonus!


The size of the deck doesn’t matter


So this project is complete.  My next, smaller problems are to make some steps to help penetrate the 12″ step over the garage’s back door.  After that, I’ll slap some wood down deeper into the yard toward the fire pit we built.  If I still have wood left over, I’ll connect the garage exit and the tiny deck, so the small one won’t look so insignificant.

I should have been a general contractor.

33 Responses to “I Have A Massive Deck”

  1. Randstein Says:

    Awesome re-deckulation!

  2. I can’t wait to start re-building my house and deck. Can you believe that I’m still homeless from SANDY?!?!?!?
    It’s almost 3 years now.

  3. Laughing Dragon Says:

    Super cool deck dude. It’s so big!

  4. Your deck is huge but I think our patio is massive also, I am going to take some pix. We had to get a wooden deck bc a looooong time ago, we had a pool but a resident drowned in it. :/

  5. Looking good! Not so sure about the decklet though – it doesn’t look like you have much to water from there!

  6. Not merely Awesome!, but Awesomesauce!!
    It’s not too late for that general contractor thing. November is still looming. A few shots like that on a flyer and your fame could spread far and wide. Word of mouth might make you the go-to guy from Annandale to Falls Church. 😎
    You’ll let me know when my name comes up on the barbecue/picnic list? 😉

  7. Lets see – erected, wood, laid, penetrate, girth,12 inch, 6 inch… Heck with being a general contractor, you should be a romance novelist.

  8. Hey, 💡 if you become a General contractor, does that count as a two-step promotion from Lt. Col. Contractor? 😉

  9. I was going to say something pithy about rank, but shimoniac’s comment was better. 🙂

    • It just occurred to me that it would totally suck if I had to start at the bottom as a Second Lieutenant Contractor… or maybe a Private Contractor… hmm.

  10. You’re now an official deck dude. Depending on how many beers you down, you could be an official nude deck dude.

  11. […] – Holy squirrelmageddon. On the weekends, we toss peanuts out on the Massive Deck and watch the crows and squirrels and blue jays conduct their Octagon of Death for them. I like the […]

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