Have you ever had one of those days where you are busy doing stuff and then look up and realize the day is over and you pretty much missed it? This is how my entire month of March has been. If you think this post talks about basketball, I’m sorry. I’m not a hoops fan really because for all my height, I suck at the game.
So in truth the madness involves the craziness of my life. I looked up today and realized that 25 days of 31 had blown right the fuck by me and I hadn’t posted once. Thus far, here are some highlights:
A book written – I came up with a kickass book idea back around Christmas right after the aftermath of NaNoWriMo. I’ll warn you that once you start writing, you have to keep doing it, sort of like crack or booze. Anyway, I got a great idea and cobbled up an outline. I started the novel on the 18th of January and finished it on the 5th of March, 77-thousand words later… more or less. More to follow on that, but it’s sitting and being forgotten so I can edit it.
A book read – I decided to give in and read A Game of Thrones. If you like the series, read the books. There are five, and they’re nice and lengthy. One down, four to go.
A flood of ideas – noted above, I have to have a constant writing project now. That said, after my whirlwind idea and book, I was again left floating and without an idea to write about. Then in a weekend I got three ideas. Two were for aborted stories from a while back – complete re-do’s, but better. The third is a new one.
Pentagon freaky shit – there’s a guy who works in the Building with me that I’ve named “Buttrider.” I dubbed him thusly because he has this tendency to go up or down stairs immediately behind you. This creeps me straight the fuck out and puts me in a Stabby McStabbin mood. Of course, this over-comfortable tool works in an office near mine.
Literal Pentagon shit – I have determined that the men’s latrine closest to me is the busiest of all 248 shitters in this daycare center. Four pissers and five stalls, and there is hardly ever an open slot. I wonder what people eat in my little corner of paradise. I also wonder how much, and sometimes I have to speculate about the amounts of soluble fiber some of these butt trumpets swallow. There has to be an upper, healthy limit.
The Following – I noted one day during casual perusal that my blog followership had topped 10,000. I suspect most of those are bots and autozombie sites, but hey – a number is a number, and 10k is worthy of beer. For the five of you actual humans out there, thanks for your continued readerhood.
To email, or not – I cancelled an email account that I’d had for well over fourteen years. Like all long-term emails, it had accumulated tons of spam targets. You know the kind of things that want you to buy inverted widget pullers for only $29.99. At the bottom, there’s an ‘unsubscribe’ button that never works. So I shut down the account. I didn’t even tell my family, so my uncle who can’t tell ‘reply’ from ‘reply all’ has one less reader of his incessant screeds about the Administration.
Paperwork – I’m up to my nipples (about 5’3″ off the floor) in paperwork, but more on that interesting development later. Needless to say, that shit never ends.
Death and Taxes – I’m still trying to defuckulate my tax situation. This intractable issue has been ongoing since February. I want my return now, thank you. I need it to fill up my IRA for the year…
A series of series – A certain small light of my world has tuned me in to Dexter, House of Cards, Silicon Valley, and a host of other awesomeness. I officially love Netflix. That is all.
Mud – warm weather has melted the snow here and I’m ankle-deep in my backyard. I’m entertaining fantasies of luxurious, shade-tolerant grass and… a shrubbery.
That’s about it. The rest of the month has been filled primarily with sleeping, eating and pooping, rank ordered by time spent at each activity. I know some of you need to know this. Rant on.