Said No BrainRants Ever

As-of this post, I’ve written ten collections of things I’ve actually said out loud.  If you’re intrigued to find out just how few fucks I give about what people think around me, go to this link for the collated and filtered collection.  That way, you won’t have to sift through the whole blog… even though you should.

So for this post I have to cite the most important small person in the world.  It’s her general idea, and probably more than a few of these she threw in while I was rolled over pissing myself and laughing.

The idea here is to turn the Shit I Said Out Loud on its head, with the ever-popular web saying, “Said nobody ever,” in this instance, the nobody is me.  In case you still don’t understand, with each of the sentences below you can add, “…said no BrainRants ever” and make an awesome true statement.  It’s all about the irony, man.

Here we go:

“No, I would not care for bacon with that”

“Please get your boobs out of my face”

“That was awesome! Play that Bieber song again, I love it”

“The French are awesome”

“I have to go right now.  I don’t want to miss the new episode of Glee”

“The level of drama you express is very effective in making me care, too”

“Beer is so… bourgeois”

“Do you like my new skinny jeans?”

“I see the error of my ways and I’ll strive to correct them”

“I’ll take the Prius”

“I’m not sure that’s anatomically or physically possible, but I’m eager to give it a try!”

“I try not to use… you know… the f-word… because it offends people”

“Nancy Pelosi?  Yeah, I’d hit that”

 

Hope you enjoyed this one.

 

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32 Responses to “Said No BrainRants Ever”

  1. Or the most epic saying ever, “GO NAVY! BEAT ARMY!”

  2. BR,

    I believe you may have overlooked one, which seems obvious to me, as I resemble that remark….

    “No comment”…. said no BR, etc…

    😉

    Nice…

    gigoid, the dubious

    😎

  3. Haha it’s really funny. 🙂

  4. 😀 Good stuff.

    Damn this cold, I have nothing witty to add. pfft

  5. I’m very happy to know you like beer, and will never drive a Prius. All is well with the world. 😉

  6. Yeah, the irony is funny because someone did say it…and it is posted on the webs.

    Friend and I have game we play called “how about never?” He asks when will you date? My answer is how about never?…I ask when will you try my ceasar salad? The salad is substituted with kale and I’ve laced the dressing with chia seeds, but the steak is med rare…he debates the yummy steak with other stuff and asks how about never? Fairnuff.

  7. Ohhhhhhhh….this is an excellent idea. I may steal this one…

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