Rantswers® 9.1

Everyone has been very patient with this edition of Rantswers®.  I waited for input as long as I dared, but someone who will remain unnamed below got very impatient about her Rantswer® concerning the Patriots.  Ahem.

H.E. ELLIS: Why does everyone but New Englanders hate the New England Patriots?

Why do people hate Justin Bieber?  I won’t answer this with a question.  I like to think that like the Dallas Cowboys back in the 1970’s through the 1980’s, they’re too successful.  Seriously.  Everyone hates a winner, most especially when you do it too damn much.  Before you bring up the Steelers, stop.  Only people around Pittsburgh like the Steelers.  The Cowboys had about six fucking states to work with, and guess what?  The Patriots have… six states to work with.  Plus, of course, the bandwagoners who will root for anyone with a winning record and douchebag quarterback who is far too pretty to live.

Kathleen R: If they would have given the ball to Marshawn and he didn’t make it into the end zone…would Seahawk fans be saying that they should have passed the ball? And how do referees not notice that the Brady’s balls were a bit saggy for so long?

I doubt it.  Actually, no they wouldn’t have, because you have to respect four solid attempts to punch the ball into the endzone, win or lose.  Here’s a way of looking at it using maths.  A running play has four possible outcomes: Gain, No Yardage, Loss, or Fumble.  In that situation, two of those are good, so you have a 50/50 shot.  A pass has three outcomes: Reception, No Reception, and Interception.  In any situation, two out of three are bad, or one good which yields a 33% chance of awesome.  As for Brady’s balls, I don’t think the refs get paid enough to fondle him and conduct a proper analysis.  My bet is, the Illuminati – who control everything – directed the NFL and Roger Goodell to call Pete Carroll and told him to throw the game away so the Patriots could win and nobody would look at that nasty Deflategate thing.

Blogdramedy: We in the northeast are quickly running out of room to put all this snow. Solutions/suggestions/ideas. Please?

One idea would be to melt it, since water is 1/9th the volume of snow.  But, since y’all are fresh out of hot at the moment, I’d say to try eating it.  Just avoid the yellow parts.  Another idea would be to truck it up to the Canadians, who love that shit and will apologize for not coming to pick it up.

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20 Responses to “Rantswers® 9.1”

  1. Fair answer. I would have preferred, “Because New Englanders rock” but I asked a West Coaster, so…

  2. Well, I decided to move down south (Florida) to escape these NYC winters. It didn’t even take a month before realizing Florida is not a state, it is a tourist attraction and not a place to reside!!!!!! There is some scary corruption down there….. and they were not taking any new members ! lol Especially ones from NY!
    So, it was maybe three weeks when I decided to move back to NYC and deal with the winters knowing I have the comfort of being under a blanketed system I’m accustomed to.

    • You didn’t know this going in? Governor Mickey Mouse mocks you. Before you get any more good ideas, also avoid California.

      • If only I could talk about it….I’m almost there.. .. I think it is the craziness (even by my standards) of the information and details of what my “sunshine state” experience and exposure to “things” have to be given to others, more importantly I need to brain vomit it out of my head lol…. It is bad enough! there is no need to make it worse by not being able to speak about it…
        Ugh!!!!!! It’s ) It is more aggravating and horrible not being able to mention it than experience it…. I feel like they are a “Mickey Mouse Mafia” that threaten if you talk you might be killed, but, worse is they will make you vanish into judicial tomorrowland, while they keep displaying their magical kingdom !…….
        Ok – I needed to rant on that a little

        As far as ideas on moving, I think I’m going to stay with NYC where the corruption is out in the open, consistent, fair lol, and tries very hard not to injure innocent bystanders… lol

  3. I love your maths solution! Sports ARE really all about statistics.

  4. You have inspired me! I’m not going to eat it though. I’m going to buy a bunch of ice cube trays and start making ice. For my martinis.

    So I can be drunk until spring.

  5. You know, if it weren’t for that Patriot defensive back making one HELL of a play, the Seahawks would be champs. It was a good route and a good throw, but that guy saw what has happening immediately and jumped it. Who’s to say Lynch would have scored if given the ball? That Pats had the LOS stacked.

  6. Did you see how much snow the Maritimes got this year? BTW Maritimes are the eastern part of Canada! Granted, some of our mountains in Western Canada could have used some snow for skiing this year – BECAUSE it was a very mild winter here in Western Canada! Hahahahaha!

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