Rantswers® 8.2

As promised, here’s the second half of the Rantswers® of the eighth edition.  I know I kept you all waiting, but you know, the weekend, beer, work, and stuff are some of the other things I deal with from day to day.  That, and ninja midgets.

ddupre315 Why do some bloggers not allow the “like” button on their blog?

Easy: they’re cocksucking fuckwhistles.  How’s that for a good answer?

Randstein I want to know why the Army maintains a field manual for field sanitation showing impressionable young soldiers how to poop in a hole 200 meters from the mess tent. Can a soldier really make it that far after eating in the mess tent? Also, if soldiers are supposed to dig and poop in holes, why does the Army spend billions on Porta-Potties during deployments? Is that just for officers? Millions of civilians are just losing their minds over this giant cover-up. Beat Navy!

Q1: Easy, they just write the pap and sent it to the Gov’t printing office.  Q2: Yes, if he or she is quick and has excellent colonic muscle tone and a sphincter with kung-fu grip.  Q3: Because Congress and corruption.  Q4: No, everyone gets to slam the plastic door and pretend nobody can hear the epic, volcanic anal eruption that spews from between the cheeks of America’s finest on a daily basis.

.A Not So Jaded Life. “Taste the rainbow” is the skittles slogan… So I ate a bag of skittles, it didn’t taste like a rainbow.. Or did it?… It tasted like a ball of sugary ass, the flavour combination was insulting to my tastebuds… So, does a rainbow taste like a sweet, gritty ball of ass?? That’s the question..

How the fuck would you know after the high-fructose corn syrup hit your metabolism like Ron Jeremy analizes an 18-year-old porn hopeful?  Tasted like ass? No kidding.  The truth is, the ‘rainbow’ doesn’t taste like a sweet, gritty ball of ass.  Worse, it has the bouquet of either a douchebag poet blogger or something like an unwashed gay unicorn fart from a prolapsed colon.

1jaded1 What happens if Navy wins? I still say beat navy but…

Army fans will become more angry, bathe in our own angry urine, drink shitty beer to gain more outraged anger, and then drop to the floor.  In our drunken state, we’ll plot the eventual defeat and downfall of the evil Navy team.  How about you?

 derekpku66 Why are some people so obssessed with Christmas, even they are not Christians?

Because they exist to wear their credit cards into paper-thin wafers, a la History Of The World Part One.  They’ve bought into it hook, line and sinker.  They could have a Jesus Christmas sweater with Big J as the Birthday Boy that would match their Easter “Zombie Jesus” sweater, but no.  They are compelled to go in Spandex to WalMart and make an effort to clear each shelf.

1jaded1  What do you do when your trust o meter is broken and you want to trust? Serious and not…and of course it goes without saying cuz I already did…beat navy…ps…thanks for answering the what happens question early.

Serious: You cowboy up and get back up on that pony and try to learn to trust some more.

Ranstwer: You find a secluded spot, obtain some vise-grips, bag of salt, and a blow torch, and start asking pointed questions.  A gag is helpful in avoiding detection when they inevitably scream.


18 Responses to “Rantswers® 8.2”

  1. I think “because their cocksucking fuckwhistles should be added to websters. That answers just about everything and gives me a new term for a friend’s husband. He’s a cocksucking fuckwhistle.

  2. I can’t believe I spelled at wrong.

  3. Thanks, I had a feeling that was the reason.

    Oh and ….


  4. I love this blog!!! XD

  5. Reblogged this on Gh0stpupp3t's Realm and commented:
    Fun*t sh

  6. I need to get me some Ninja midgets.

  7. Thank you, late. Seriously.

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