Rantionary: “J” Is For…

I am painfully off of my posting game in general, and grossly overdue for another iteration of the ever-popular Rantionary.  I blame the Army and the window-licker moving company that has yet to find all of my shit.  I’ll leave that rant for another aneurism, since this post is about cool words you can use to offend and alienate your remaining friends with.  Today, brought to you by the letter, “J,” is this installment:

Jchyah: (int) A form of interjection that is native to Southern California which expresses enthusiastic yet sarcastic agreement.  Ex.:

Person: “Do you want bacon with that?”

Rants: “Jchyah!!!”

Jackwagon: (n) An idiot of the type that inspires a mental vision of a rickety, wooden cart with uneven wheels who totters along without dying based solely on luck and divine intervention; (n) a fucktard who is so epically fucktarded that s/he must put their fucktardation in a wagon for transport.

Jerkoff: (n) A person whose qualities replicate the skin irritation due to the fiftieth attempt at masturbation in one 24-hour period; someone only bright enough to play with himself yet is not uniformly successful.

Jerkwad: (n) A person whose irritating qualities are akin to and as welcome as being splattered in the face with warm reproductive emissions.

Jihad: (n) A state of angry, rantalicious hate involving pumitive action against the irritant causal factor or person.  Ex.: “Hold my beer while I get my jihad on.”

Junk: (n) The aggregate of specific parts of the male anatomy characterized by reproductive purpose, painful vulnerability, and brain-override traits; the penis and scrotum. Ex.: “Shut up before I cut off your junk!”

Junkpunch: (v) To violently drive one’s fist into the exterior make reproductive parts with sufficient force to retroactively abort the subject and two prior generations of idiot breeders; (n) The act of the junkpunch as performed.

I cannot claim any kind of copyright on this shit, so use freely but with caution.

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28 Responses to “Rantionary: “J” Is For…”

  1. Twindaddy Says:

    Jchyah is a new one to me…

  2. Junkpunch is in my everyday, behind the wheel vocabulary.

  3. Melanie Says:

    “Being splattered in the face with warm reproductive emissions” is pretty annoying. I mean, aim a little lower for crying out loud.

  4. I was grossly overdue in reading Rants! Wow, I picked a good one. Ouchies.

  5. New Englanders, specifically Vermontsters, will say, “Jeezum Crow,” instead of something a bit more blasphemous.

    Those from Maine will say, “Jumpin’ Jehosephat!” when excited. Neither one is considered a swear or curse-word, oddly enough.

  6. “I’m about to jihad these chickens” is one of my favorite sentences my mother ever uttered; no, we weren’t on a chicken farm, and yes, she had been drinking.

  7. How do you pronounce jchyah?

    Jaculate… Word does exist in the dictionary…alternate version doesn’t. Pronunciation is HACK u layte (ala jalapeno)…and it is something one hopes one’s SO doesn’t do after receipt of oral.

  8. It’s so awesome when someone spells something exactly the way you imagined it in your head. Jchyah!

    Having just returned from California, I, like, totally got it.

  9. And how do your pronounce the first one?

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