Flash Fiction – 4th Ed.
I’m not going into why I’ve been off the net recently. I claim getting my crap together to move as a reason. There’s an excuse here, too, but you’ll have to wait for that story. It’s a doozy. But enough about me.
If you want to join in the Flash Madness, go to Rochelle’s Purple Blog and follow the rules.
Concept: a weekly picture is posted, and the writer is challenged to produce one-hundred (more or less) words of some sort of fiction with a full plotline (beginning, middle and end). Here is my fourth installment:
AGAIN
The day unfurled just as I remembered it would. Odd thing to think, I know. The cognitive dissonance gets me every time. Or will get me, or both. I don’t know. I’m only an operative. I see the waiting figure in the archway.
“Hello, Steve,” the familiar voice says.
“I failed again,” I say.
“We failed again,” he corrects me.
“Sorry, Steve,” I say.
“We can only keep trying,” the loud mechanical click echoes.
I nod my assent.
I raise the ancient weapon and kill myself, clean and painless.
“Not like I have a choice,” I mumble, “Causal loops suck.”
– – – – –
Critique and general abuse are welcome. It helps to use the comments feature so we both know what you’re saying.
May 28, 2014 at 19:14
Very good! Makes me wonder what time period/place this was and how it came to this…again.
May 28, 2014 at 21:57
That’s the point – it doesn’t matter.
May 28, 2014 at 20:04
I like your stories and how you’re able to build tension in so few words. If you’re interested in publishing your short short fiction elsewhere, check out my flash fiction website at http://www.saturdaynightreader.com. Cheers!
May 28, 2014 at 21:58
Thanks! I’ll check it out!
May 28, 2014 at 22:17
Uh huh. Figured as much…excuses, excuses.
Failure sucks, especially when it involves suicide. This reminds me of your first story, a bit. What makes a non-fail and closes the loop?
May 28, 2014 at 22:30
Is this a riddle? Me.
May 28, 2014 at 23:56
No riddle, merely curiosity, of course the answer would be “me” meaning “you” of course…
May 29, 2014 at 05:45
I see.
May 29, 2014 at 22:51
I’m sure…And “me aka you” as the author and not a character is “me”?…it really is a good story. The repeat death is familiar…and I will never tire…loops are fascinating based on conditions. Virginia is not s horrible place to live, from what I’ve heard..
May 30, 2014 at 06:56
Cool. Guess I’m about to test that theory.
May 29, 2014 at 03:40
You’ve been watching the trailers for “Edge of Tomorrow”, haven’t you? Or rewatching Bill Murray in Groundhog Day?
Nicely done. I didn’t know whether I/you was coming or going.
May 29, 2014 at 05:45
I had to keep re-reading to make sure.
May 29, 2014 at 05:59
Dear BR,
So did the last line come before or after he killed himself? Hm…now that I read Archon’s comment and your reply I’m still not sure. 😉 Good concise writing.
Shalom,
Rochelle
May 29, 2014 at 08:15
The answer is ‘yes.’ It’s a Sci Fi piece, as I usually produce.
May 29, 2014 at 06:32
aloha BrainRants. yeah, i hear you on those “causal loops”. so does the fine print. i like how you got to your ending. fun. aloha.
May 29, 2014 at 08:16
Thanks and mahalo.
May 29, 2014 at 12:39
I caught on quickly with this one that it would be some type of time loop, but I thought Steve would kill you!
You are a good writer Rants, you should do more of it!
So you’re moving, did you finally get transferred to Texas?
May 29, 2014 at 14:31
I am writing. As for Texas, no. Virginia.
May 29, 2014 at 16:17
Is this your decision? I thought you were leaning towards Texas?
May 29, 2014 at 16:27
There were many factors. Decisions were made.
May 29, 2014 at 13:40
This was/is a great story, and will be again 🙂
May 29, 2014 at 14:30
Aha! You get it!
May 29, 2014 at 15:02
Wow. What a thing to relive/die
May 29, 2014 at 16:04
Over and over…
May 29, 2014 at 15:38
That will be a rather clever take on the prompt (click).
May 29, 2014 at 16:05
Thanks! Whatever is hidden off to the left sparked the idea.
May 29, 2014 at 17:52
How sad to have to kill yourself over and over and over again….
May 29, 2014 at 18:01
Just in the story.
May 29, 2014 at 20:04
It reminded me of a 100 word episode of The Twilight Zone. Chilling!
May 29, 2014 at 21:22
Really? That’s just high awesome!
May 29, 2014 at 23:50
great sci-fi piece! love how the dying part seems so casual / normal for the characters 🙂
May 30, 2014 at 06:53
They/he is used to it. Thanks!
May 30, 2014 at 02:20
groundhog day in 100 words – you really made me laugh with your last line 😀
May 30, 2014 at 06:54
Sweet, thanks!
May 30, 2014 at 05:53
Dear BrainRants,
You pulled off the time travel genre rather well, but then, you’ve had a lot of practice, right?
Aloha,
Doug
May 30, 2014 at 06:54
We’re not confirming or denying…
May 31, 2014 at 04:34
Good story and well written. Virginia is a beautiful state. My brother lived there for some years and my parents and I visited him. 🙂 —Susan
May 31, 2014 at 12:31
Thank you! I’m looking forward to being there.
May 31, 2014 at 10:04
Oh .. what a sad cycle.. just keep trying I guess… really innovative
May 31, 2014 at 12:32
Thanks! He has no other choice.
May 31, 2014 at 20:17
Hmmm… killing yourself repeatedly can’t be much fun. I liked the way you introduced the theme using tenses
May 31, 2014 at 20:47
Thank you! This subject gets tricky.
June 1, 2014 at 14:44
What is most amazing to me is that you can see this picture and come up with that story. Your mind is truly a wondrous thing.
June 1, 2014 at 14:57
It’s something, that’s for sure. I borrowed the concept from another writer I know…
June 3, 2014 at 14:52
I know precisely what you mean about being off the web. Life has a way of getting in the way doesn’t it?
I thought you’d go with wedding day bliss when I saw the photo. Silly me.
June 3, 2014 at 15:27
It does… and wedding bliss? Hmm.
June 4, 2014 at 14:59
Nice story and nice to be able to read you in Rochelle’s flash fiction Friday.
A few if my favorite story tellers participate.
Wow what a great life to be able to live in different areas of our country.
June 4, 2014 at 15:56
Thanks. It has its ups and downs, to be sure.