Weird Shit That I Have – 03

On this third installment of bizarre shit that I apparently own, I offer you the most totally random thing that I’ve found inside this huge-ass house.

Yes, this:

Who?  Where?  What?  Why?!?

Who? Where? What? Why?!?

I have no idea where this came from.  It does not fit me, nor would I ever wear a zebra-striped, day-glo green-and-black sock.  Beats the fuck outta me.  Based on its size, it belongs to someone about half my weight.  The wear pattern on the sole support that theory.  Mama Rants fits the description, but would never wear anything this… this… awesome.

Any ideas out there?


50 Responses to “Weird Shit That I Have – 03”

  1. That’s where I left that!

  2. It’s a trap! Obviously a plant, stashed by an operative to destroy any attempt at a justifiable alibi. Or a frame-up, either way burn immediately and dissolve ashes in hydrochloric acid, then wash down the drain with bleach.

    Ooooor, you got lucky on St.Paddy’s Day with a one legged Munchkin Leprechaun stripper.

  3. Haha, no clue…eggs that mysteriously appear and now this? Mehinks you might want to install cameras in your new place if this trend continues.

  4. That, sadly, is not the ugliest sock I’ve ever seen.

  5. Willy Nilly Says:

    Do you frequent laundromats or barracks washers and dryers? If not, cut back on late night weekend binge drinking. You’ll notice a dramatic decrease in unaccountable women’s wear. They do that, you know. They mark their territory to ward off other females. Once, a very long time ago, my girlfriend found one of her earrings in the bed and didn’t recognize it. I was bludgeoned nearly to death. In between rounds of screeching and pummeling, I mentioned how ironic that it looked just like the single earring she wore. It’s evil how they go off like that.

  6. A few theories pop to mind…
    1. It really is yours but you won’t admit it
    2. It’s your kids
    3. You have a lady friend
    4. You have a leprechaun

  7. This could end up being your very own Cinderella story!

  8. That looks like the sort of thing an angsty teen would wear. My guess is that you’ve either recently had a young visitor or you secretly shop at Hot Topic.

  9. Let me know if you discover any of my other green zebra stuff. Here’s a list of everything I’m missing. Just mark off the ones you find.

  10. I’m thinking it was a plant, not the floral kind but the kind like OJ had to deal with … with the glove. I say burn it, remove the photo from everything. Just because it doesn’t fit doesn’t mean you’ll get away with whatever crime you are being framed for.

  11. A really small Zebra going for the camo look?

  12. Somebody crying out for help…obviously.

  13. I hate to wear sock, so I would wear sock like this when I was absolutely forced to because it doesn’t feel like you’re wearing socks at all. Does this belong to the mysterious special someone?

  14. mirror seriously this shit I bought on a day to day basis so I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about lmao oh and I’m probably half your size yeah I probably left it there when I went to go visit you will give me my god damn fuck spot Socks back lmao

    and don’t come back at me and act like you don’t know me

  15. Could be ur dog.

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