First Flash Fiction

So surgery slowed me down – a lot.  I can already manage an hour or so of two-handed typing.  Since the Big Reveal that I’m writing, it follows that I have to do something to keep up my work and practice.  Many of you expressed interest.  Here’s your first benefit of my Stabby McStabstab to the shoulder.

Concept: a weekly picture is posted, and the writer is challenged to produce one-hundred (more or less) words of some sort of fiction with a full plotline (beginning, middle and end).  Here we go…

Copyright Adam Ickes

Copyright Adam Ickes

Transition Point

I believed I awoke on the wood-plank boardwalk. I felt sunlight on my shoulders. A figure in the tent waited, so I walked. The sawgrass and water made it real.

“Welcome,” the woman said. Her dark hair blew in the wind.

“This is the transition,” I said, “None of this is real.”

“That may vary based on your personal beliefs,” she nodded.

I chuckled. “All right, let’s go,” I said. “Can I ask how I died?”

“That’s not advised,” she said, “And against your contract.”

“Then put me back in the war,” I sighed.

The world vanished.

– – – – –

 Yes, that’s it.  One hundred words ain’t much, y’all.

Visit Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple if you want to play along.  This is interesting and I may just do this shit again.

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75 Responses to “First Flash Fiction”

  1. I think that’s really good. I liked the second half better than the first, the mystery of it. The two sentences that put me off a bit where “A figure in…” and the one right after that (the “made it real” part). Those last five lines are great. Make me want more.

    • I didn’t edit much, Trent. Good catch. The ‘made it real’ is as much foreshadowing as one can do in 100 words, though.

      • I would puke into my mouth and hold it there a good five minutes rather than try to write only 100 words. I never met an idea I couldn’t stretch well beyond what was actually required.

        Anyway, hope you do more fiction stuff, you certainly got the imagination for it.

        • You should talk to some of the people I know about my verbosity when writing. I’m normally a Stephen King, so this kind of exercise is very, very good for Rants.

  2. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    Too cool, Rants!

  3. NotAPunkRocker Says:

    I like your take on the picture, good job.

  4. 100 words – insanely difficult. Quite an intriguing story. (although I agree with Trent: cut the 1st 2 sentences – add “wood planked boardwalk” to end of the 3rd or something)
    Again? Yeah, you should. This is good.

  5. Well done! I’m with Trent. Can you imagine me writing ONLY 100 words? I can’t, although you may want to. 🙄

  6. Great take on the prompt. The end made me want to know more. I look forward to seeing you on more of these.

  7. That’s a lot of imagery in only 100 words so I’d say you were successful. I may have to give this a try.

  8. Clever. I’m left wondering who the woman was (devil? angel?), and what the contract was for.

  9. Wow. Thank you for the glimpse into your fiction. This is intriguing and makes me want to read at least another 100 words. Please share more.

    Hope your shoulder is feeling better.

  10. Welcome Rants; I’m glad you finally made it here! I wondered where you went… Didn’t know you had surgery scheduled, but I hope your recovery has gone well. We took similar approaches to this one. Adam’s photo immediately made me think of my ongoing story, of love, death and heaven… or hell. After life. Nice job!

  11. Welcome; an impressive debut.

  12. Melanie Says:

    I’ve been reading some of these Friday Fictioneers posts for about a month, but I haven’t tried my own yet. I enjoy the challenge of brevity, but I think 250 words is about the shortest I’ve somewhat succeeded at.
    It’s interesting that he would rather live through war than die without the knowledge of how. Well done. I enjoyed it.

  13. Rants, welcome to Friday Fictioneers. We’re a diverse and friendly group and there are lots of good writers, so you’ll fit right in. Good use of changing the form of your story to highlight going from the intro to the conversation. I’m getting a good laugh from the comments, too. One hundred words can really be difficult, but it’s a great exercise in choosing the words that count. 🙂 Inviting all the writers in your comment section to stop by next week and give it a shot.

    janet

  14. Great job! This little piece is worthy of going further.

  15. Man, only a hundred words? I ramble to much. I don’t know if I could do it. Love this new side of you. Great better soon.

  16. For a while I was doing “Friday Drabbles” which are 100-word short stories. They are totally fun and frustrating at the same time. Brings out the editor in you. More please.

  17. Geeze! Red tape even after we die? Must be the other place. 🙂

  18. Woke up in a place of beauty yet full of rules….sounds like Germany. 🙂

  19. I believed, I chuckled – my favorite words of your whole story!

  20. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers, Rants. I hope you’re feeling better soon. That was well written with good dialogue. It would make a great hook for a longer story.

  21. Ah,if war is a better choice,good that his contract didn’t say that he could not go back-interesting take on the prompt and welcome aboard:-)

  22. I have a book called 100 Sci-Fi short-short stories. It’s amazing what can be packed into only 100 words. I think that a lot of stories would benefit by some ruthless pruning of extraneous additions.
    Good first publish. I look forward to reading more.

  23. Good job, he should have read ALL the fine print in his contract. Lawyers can be blood suckers after all . . ha. Nan Oh, and Welcome!

  24. Welcome to the world of flash fiction. It’s perfect for those of us with a short attention span, like me. I enjoyed you story. Like the others, I wonder what the contract is all about. No one ever mentioned signing a contract to die. Disturbing, just like my cell phone contract!

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