Good morning. Or as I prefer, ‘Morning.’ Not usually much good about them. Feeling Presidential today? That’s okay, neither is he, but he hides it very well. So hopefully most of you have the day off to enjoy the wrap-up of the sixth round of Rantswers®. Bringing up the rear:
Dr. R: I’ve just started blogging, I’m keeping my real name a secret but if you solve my code, you’ll work out what my name really is. Will accept the challenge and see the first chapter of the scheme of The Being.
You left an epic string of “hints” that led nowhere. Go away unless you know how to internet. You remind me of my favorite narcissist. Here’s a question for you, Dr. R: what’s my name, Trollboy?
whiteladyinthehood: Are you still working on your book? Yes, and to all of them.
I have four books written, five novellas, and more shorts that I can find right now. I’m copyediting like a motherfucker and trying to shape my first novel into something I can ship off for submission. Yes, Lady, you’ll get a copy. I’m not confident that most houses will accept hand-written submissions in Crayola, though.
Twindaddy: If you fix a meal, but there’s no picture of it on Facebook or Instagram, did you really fix it?
If you’re 20 or younger, no. If you’re normal and your head is disconnected from your anus, yes, because delicious bacon in your tummy. Mmmmmmmmmmm… bacon.
benzeknees: What in the world do you do to get Erickson to poke his head out of his hole, when all the rest of the blogosphere dessicates from want of him?
I am a freak magnet. How’s that for short, Ranty, and sweet?
NotAPunkRocker: Should I cough up the money to let my kid travel some after he graduates this year, or should I take the money and run? Serious and not, please and thanks.
Not serious: the cheapest option is to buy him a six pack and introduce him to Trixi from the corner downtown. The serious option would be to not pay for this and let him earn his own way, because anything given is never appreciated like that which is earned.
Claudia Bette: Why is it that even though I’m a size 8, almost a size 6, I’m still in the obese category on the BMI (Body Mass Index) charts? When did a size 8 count as obese?!
First off, you’re far from obese. This is what you get when the government tries to regulate every tiny aspect of our lives. These people have no better idea what is healthy than… well, me. One one hand, the fucknuts will say you’re obese, while another office of the gub’mint will allow companies to load up foods with so many chemicals and extra high-fructose-cornsplooge that you gain weight merely by reading the package. Never mind that after a life of the preservatives, you will be as well preserved as Keith Richards when you die. Fact: Keith is actually dead – see what chemistry does? Feel healthy? Then here’s what I say: Fuck them raw.
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Thanks for your input and participation in Rantswers! Like all great blogging, audience participation makes or breaks the experience, and all y’all do that every day!