Rantswers® 6.3

Good morning.  Or as I prefer, ‘Morning.’  Not usually much good about them.  Feeling Presidential today?  That’s okay, neither is he, but he hides it very well.  So hopefully most of you have the day off to enjoy the wrap-up of the sixth round of Rantswers®.  Bringing up the rear:

Dr. R:  I’ve just started blogging, I’m keeping my real name a secret but if you solve my code, you’ll work out what my name really is. Will accept the challenge and see the first chapter of the scheme of The Being.

You left an epic string of “hints” that led nowhere.  Go away unless you know how to internet.  You remind me of my favorite narcissist.  Here’s a question for you, Dr. R: what’s my name, Trollboy?

whiteladyinthehood:  Are you still working on your book?  Yes, and to all of them.

I have four books written, five novellas, and more shorts that I can find right now.  I’m copyediting like a motherfucker and trying to shape my first novel into something I can ship off for submission.  Yes, Lady, you’ll get a copy.  I’m not confident that most houses will accept hand-written submissions in Crayola, though.

Twindaddy:  If you fix a meal, but there’s no picture of it on Facebook or Instagram, did you really fix it?

If you’re 20 or younger, no.  If you’re normal and your head is disconnected from your anus, yes, because delicious bacon in your tummy.  Mmmmmmmmmmm… bacon.

benzeknees:  What in the world do you do to get Erickson to poke his head out of his hole, when all the rest of the blogosphere dessicates from want of him?

I am a freak magnet.  How’s that for short, Ranty, and sweet?

NotAPunkRocker: Should I cough up the money to let my kid travel some after he graduates this year, or should I take the money and run? Serious and not, please and thanks.

Not serious: the cheapest option is to buy him a six pack and introduce him to Trixi from the corner downtown.  The serious option would be to not pay for this and let him earn his own way, because anything given is never appreciated like that which is earned.

Claudia Bette: Why is it that even though I’m a size 8, almost a size 6, I’m still in the obese category on the BMI (Body Mass Index) charts? When did a size 8 count as obese?!

First off, you’re far from obese.  This is what you get when the government tries to regulate every tiny aspect of our lives.  These people have no better idea what is healthy than… well, me.  One one hand, the fucknuts will say you’re obese, while another office of the gub’mint will allow companies to load up foods with so many chemicals and extra high-fructose-cornsplooge that you gain weight merely by reading the package.  Never mind that after a life of the preservatives, you will be as well preserved as Keith Richards when you die.  Fact: Keith is actually dead – see what chemistry does?  Feel healthy?  Then here’s what I say: Fuck them raw.

– – – – –

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47 Responses to “Rantswers® 6.3”

  1. Did you ever imagine that this child of Dr. Frankenstein would stretch to six rounds? What have you unleashed on the world?

  2. NotAPunkRocker Says:

    Thanks. He has the great idea that he wants to backpack across Europe or somewhere for an “adventure”. I’ll save the money for booze for myself.

    • Backpacking across Europe is an awesome idea! But very expensive. I somewhat did it, but through Study Abroad programs. It’s much less expensive to do a study abroad than to travel as an ordinary hotel and hostel staying person, and you get college credit for it (room/board, transportation, etc are often part of the tuition). Just an idea for you and the kid, in case you didn’t already know.

      • NotAPunkRocker Says:

        Oh, thanks for the reminder! The college I work for has some excellent programs. I won’t be here by the time he gets to a 4-yr institution, but definitely can look wherever he ends up. We only just got confirmation that he can graduate, so likely he will start off in community college and transfer in two years.

        • Congrats on graduation! I am such a fan of community college. The courses are great and the cost is so much more manageable. I had to pay my own way through college, so I used comm-coll to lower the costs, and then I raised them by studying abroad, so I guess it was all a wash in the end.

          • NotAPunkRocker Says:

            If we stay in Virginia, they have matriculation agreements between the CCs and the 4 yr schools so that helps. Plus he is considering going into nursing which gives him more options, even if we leave the state.

            I need to do a post on this soon, even if it is just for me to sort out the options. So much happening at once now! LOL

          • OR use the military to get it all largely for free – to you.

          • I was wondering when you were going to throw this one out there.

          • I’m a SpEd-tard.

      • Awesome suggestion.

    • Great idea. He’ll love it, especially if he funds it – or most of it.

  3. Your introduction is fucking priceless! Can’t wait til your books come out. Whoo hoo! I’m a freak…;-)

  4. Dammit, how did I miss this?

    Again, please. This is better than “Ask Peter”

  5. I know your name…anyone who wants it can pay me for the information.

  6. As usual, very Ranty!

  7. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    No.Fucking.Way! 4 books, 5 novellas, and a bunch of short stories! You powerhouse writing son of a gun! I am so proud of you! I would buy anything you wrote, even the stuff in crayons! 😉

  8. Your answer is perfect. Obese at a size 6 (since posting my question I made the realization that I am indeed a size 6) is an utterly ridiculous concept. I used to be a size 18. Let’s think about the logic. What “size” is healthier for me, 18 or 6? But in reality, everyone is different and should just love themelves in whatever skin they are in. 🙂 Thank you.

  9. Speaking of terriers, and other sons of bitches….so that Wasn’t Hotspoodle behind The Great Oz’s curtain?? 😉

  10. I see I’m late for the party…as usual. I liked your answer above “let him earn his own way, because anything given is never appreciated like that which is earned.” Totally agree…my twenty year old is finding this out now…great answer.

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