Weird Shit That I Have – 02

In this series of posts that highlight the bizzare shit I’ve accumulated over the span of 45 years (our family never throws anything away)(no, we’re not fucking hoarders), I turned to my own workshop.  It’s featured here with some shotgun shells long expired and ready for salvage… brass is money.

Anyway, I happened across this gem of a device while doing an inventory of my post-divorce tool collection.  To my relief, this clamp remained in my sole possesion.  I know, total win.  Those of you who work wood will know how awesome this is.  Feast your eyes on this and enjoy the boner:

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Clamptastic, bitches!

This, my good blog friends, is an adjustable right-angle clamp.  It will help square an item for gluing and/or nailing and clamping.  It can also help clamp to butt-jointed boards in and end-to-end situation.  That requires checking with a loooooong straight edge, but that’s to be expected, right?  It can, when required, clamp any boards jointed at an angle between 180 and 90 degrees.  Sadly, the laws of physics prevent it from opening to 270º for the ultimate in clamptastic cumshottiness.  Yes, I invented that word… or words.

Should you need one, go to your local Home Depot or Lowe’s.  Those fuckers have this awesomesauce.

Clamp!

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34 Responses to “Weird Shit That I Have – 02”

  1. Sweet! Can it be used as a weapon in dire situations?

  2. This seems cooler than the bench vise with anvil that I found in the basement of my new house. Finders keepers. I dunno if I’d have much use for a clamp like yours, but I feel your joy, nonetheless.

  3. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    Cool!

  4. The little ‘mom’ scribble is terribly endearing.
    .
    .
    .
    Oh and umm, nice clamp.

  5. Uh…are those shotgun shells in the background??

  6. Got to hand it to you Rants, I’ve never seen someone so excited about a clamp! To me it looks more like those things they used to use to measure children’s feet!

  7. We have 4 of those darn things. Hope to never remodel another house ever again – ever…but we will…it’s a sickness.

  8. If I ever get back in contact with my father, he has stuff that makes your clamp look absolutely pedestrian. Then again, I have some wood-block planes, and if you’re REALLY good to me, I’ll put the absolutely ancient screwdriver, stamped “Made In Germany” (yes, BEFORE World War 2 – suck it!). And a couple of Amish gizmos which I have NO idea what they’re for, but just couldn’t let ’em go by.

    • I have screwdrivers of my grandfather’s that predate WWI. Suck that.

      • My dad has a power drill, US Navy surplus from 1946. The dang thing weighs over 60 pounds, and looks like an oversize jackhammer. We used it to drill through my folks’ foundation floor to put in a catch basin for a basement toilet. The dang thing kept popping breakers, it pulled so many amps. And it ate drill bits like candy. But it never broke a sweat, just our backs when trying to lift it. (To give you an idea, an M2 Bradley is far less well armoured than this thing is. And it could drill holes in your Abrams without working up a sweat. I think they used it to scuttle old battleships – the only thing that could get through the belt armour, short of a tactical nuke. 😀 )

  9. Is it wrong that the description turned me on a little?

  10. Score!!!! Tools rock, hey, a rock was probably the first tool. Hmm…. Must be why they rock!

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