Rantswers® 4.2

And now for the second of two installments of the Fourth and Famous iteration of Rantswers®, the awesomesauciest reader-interactive Q&A that informs and entertains, and occasionally offends.  See this link for the previous set of Rantswers®, and now below for the epic conclusion to this month:

SocietyRed: What is my major malfunction?

Red, my good DIY-ing friend, you try to pour too much concrete, and remove the same after it’s fucking hardened since the early 1900’s.  Pay young people to do that slave shit. Other than that, nothing!

ladyryl: How far would you travel to meet a blogger in person? Would you bother?

Afghanistan, and if that were the case I wouldn’t have a choice, would I?  But, I’d drive up to the Great White North and drop in on you and your Dad if I had the time, fer shure, yah.  Don’tcha know.  I know what that’s aboot.

benzeknees: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Serious & rantswer please

Serious – Texas, because I’ve lived there before and I love the place, misogyny aside.  Rantswer® – Texas, because I want the right to shoot shit that wanders onto my property without an expressed, written invitation from yours truly to violate my space at a distance of five miles, because fuck you.

The Elite of Just Alright: Four part post here…1) Bros or hoes? 2) Blondes or brunettes? 3) Fake or natural? 4) John Erickson or me?

1) Depends. We’re all equal, and I’m not going to tout some college-age saying that excludes anyone.

2) Brunettes, always, and period.

3) Natural, no matter what size or how droopy. Period.

4) Neither, go the fuck  away or get along.  My blog, my rules, motherfucker.

Southern Sea Muse: Ginger or Mary Ann?

Mary Ann.  See previous comments about brunettes, fakery, and such.  Plus, coconut cream pie.

1jaded1: For the world benefit, you could exist in the world for two months consecutively. The remaining you would spend in animation.which months would they be? Why? Your family will not know you. Serious and not. Thank you as always.

Which two consecutive months…

–          From history: The Norman invasion of Britain and the Battle of Hastings, or hanging out with Patton as he crossed the Rhine.

–          From my life: somewhere in my teen years when I wrecked my first car, so I could laugh at my own stupid young ass for real while drinking beer.

–          From Random: The two months during which humans set foot on a world in another star system’s planet to colonize it.

John Erickson: The zombie apocalypse is here. You can hit the armory for one, and ONLY one thing. Do you grab: a) An M249 SAW b) A Mk19 40mm auto grenade launcher, or c) A lowly M-16/M-4, knowing you can get ammo pretty much anywhere? (Don’t worry about selection d – edged weapons. I got that covered in spades. )

I pick C, the M16/M4 with ammo, because ammo is important given a zombie apocalypse.  Head shots count, so burning 6-9 rounds through a SAW is dumb, and the Mk19 is overkill as well as imprecise.

shimoniac: Drawing on your vast professional military experience, at what point do you get promoted from Captain Catastrophe to Major Malfunction?

I’ve already been Captain Catastrophe and Major Malfunction.  Right now, and for the foreseeable future, I’m Colonel Chaos.

theclocktowersunset: What are the rules in a knife fight?

Bring a gun…

Stay tuned here for the ongoing saga of your questions and my Rantswers, here every month.  Don’t wet your pants.

– – – – –

For past Rantswers®, click this sentence!

Bring a gun.


30 Responses to “Rantswers® 4.2”

  1. I’ll have to get on this next month. After I up my intake of crazy.

  2. Great rantswers! Disappointed I missed out on asking a question or three this time.

  3. Clearly I need you on my side in all zombie apocalypses and knife fights.

  4. Taint stain.

    I wrote that because you liked it last time I wrote it.

    I am a giver like that.

  5. I guess I’ll have to wait for next month for my next question –
    At what point do you stop answering questions, and start raining heck down on the questioners.

  6. Think you used enough dynamite there Butch?

  7. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    Archon would be so excited if you came to see him! (he’d probably wet his pants) (don’t tell him I said that)

  8. The actual answer is better than the anticipated…I want to know the anticipated. See you next month, or maybe in advance.

  9. But they have snakes & cockroaches the size of the state in Texas! But from your answer to The Elite of Just Alright – you wouldn’t want to talk to me anyway because I’m blonde.

  10. Do you know how far away your next move is? If I use enough dynamite to get a plan to come together, I might be able to meet you half-way early next year, before they ship you off to direct traffic at an Antarctic weather station. 😦 😉

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