Random Thought #60

Dropping your cigarette lighter in the toilet, pre-flush.

How fucking frustrating is that?

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60 Responses to “Random Thought #60”

  1. Did you need a smoke that bad?

  2. Oh man. I HATE it when that happen. You gotta smoke and shit at the same time, you know?

  3. Did this happen pre- or post-piss/shit?

  4. Unless its my Zippo that feckers getting flushed lol

  5. That’s actually more frustrating than dropping a phone or (way back when) a pager in there.

  6. Lol Very much….I am not a smoker But I can still understand cuz I dropped my phone once and have to take it out instantly 😛 Disgusting 😛

  7. wonderful inventions those… pockets. 😉
    since I’ve never carried around a lighter I’ll equate this to dropping my pocket knife in, instead… in which case, I was be furiously f’ing frustrated!

  8. As a sailor, I always travel with waterproof matches. And gloves for pouring diesel into the fuel tanks. Makes for an attractive sight at dinner parties.

  9. The 9 Horse

    I was at the race track one day
    And I had drunk much beer the night before
    And I was late for the first race
    But I parked, hustled in, and I could
    Feel this beershit really coming on,
    You know, not only coming on
    But I had to hold the cheeks of my ass
    Together while walking real fast from
    The parking lot and through admissions
    And toward and in the crapper.
    Luckily, there was a stall and I got
    My pants and shorts down real fast
    And then it came: hot, glorious and
    Stinking.
    When I got up and wiped I looked down
    And there was my wallet afloat
    In all of it.
    I dipped in, got it, flushed, got out
    Of the stall, washed up, walked out,
    Then stood in a corner and pulled
    The bills out of my wallet: they
    Were wet and they stank.
    I heard the announcer say, “it is
    Now one minute to post time.”
    I wanted the 9 horse, I had this
    Very strong feeling for the 9 horse.
    I put the bills back in my wallet.
    I didn’t know what to do.
    Then the announcer said:
    “they’re at the gate!”
    I ran around the corner
    Found a betting window
    Pulled one of the bills out
    Of my wallet and hollered:
    “Ten to win on the 9 horse!”
    The seller picked up the bill
    And looked at it.
    “Come on! Come on!” I said,
    “It’s good, just a little wet,
    What the shit!”
    The seller looked at me,
    Hit the button and I had
    The ticket.

    Then I went out and watched the
    Race and the 9 horse ran
    Out.

    Bukowski

  10. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    That’s frustrating (it will wash off, though) I once dropped a full bottle of beer in my toilet – ( it cracked the toilet) !! (no, I did not drink it)

  11. I remember a similar incident when Kelvin & I went to a trade show in Thunder Bay. There was a lot of drinking in the hospitality suite after the show. One of the guys went into the washroom & came out a while later in a panic because he had lost his fireman’s cell phone & hadn’t noticed until after he flushed. Another guy got the great idea of calling the cell phone & the guys got a kick out of following the ringing all the way to the septic tank!

  12. Note to self: do not borrow Rants’ lighter.

  13. Oh no! And Ew..Bukowski is great…brought back the memory of working retail. A customer pulled a tenner out of her shoe, soaking wet. That tenner was almost covered in vomit after it exchanged hands.

  14. You may choose from any of the three:
    1) Stop smoking. It’s more dangerous than the other things you do – like driving a tank in a live-fire zone.
    2) Get a cheap lighter. Flush it. End of story.
    3) Wrap your lighter in bubble wrap.
    4) Carry rubber gloves. My personal favourite. There is NO situation that cannot be rendered more enjoyable by just casually yanking out a pair of rubber gloves. None!

  15. So damn nerve-getting!!!!

  16. Oh, that’s you behind those cool shades! I thought some fisherman guy had hijacked your blog. 😉

    • Possibly, but I’m so dense I’m impervious to “signs.” Had two stone tablets in my yard the other day etched in Hebrew. I made ’em into part of my mulch pile containment system.

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