Rantswers 3.0

Here we are, heading into the third installment of Rantswers®, the awesome and interactive blog event where I come up with answers to your questions in my typical style.  First, a quick review of the rules:

* You see this post, are fascinated, and want some humorous abuse from me. Perhaps you have a serious question, either type or both is fine.

* You scroll on down and post your question using the comment feature.

* Rants (uhm, me) reads and swings for the fence when he answers.

* You watch your subscription emails or the reader and stand by for the follow up. When you see the Rantswers® coming, you return, immediately hit the ‘like’ button, and enjoy the douchebaggery.

* Rantswers® happens monthly, generally around mid-month.

* Serious questions, as noted above, are allowed but if you desire a sincere answer please indicate as such, or you’ll get a Rantswer®. They look the same but taste different.

This month, Rantswers® will close comments on Sunday the 15th when I wake up, or something like that.

Ready? Go! 

For past Rantswers®, click this sentence!

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48 Responses to “Rantswers 3.0”

  1. If you weren’t in the army, what type of job do you see yourself doing?

  2. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    I know you like cats, but what about dogs? like? hate? ever had one for a pet?

  3. How can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from falling down? How can you stop the sun from shining? What makes the world go ’round?

    Sincerely yours,

    Barry Gibb

  4. Someone you know is becoming extremely arrogant. How do you deal with this?

  5. A pipe burst under our house – it smells like Satan died now. I keep waiting for someone to crawl in to the tetanus-mouse feces funland that is our crawl-space to deal with the 10-foot lake of fetid water in the dirt… but I have a bad feeling that someone is me. Should I just move?

  6. there is an old saying: ” Red sky in the morning, sailors be warning” and “Red sky at night, sailors delight”. My question is, what exactly makes the sky red if the sky is blue during the day and black at night?

  7. They are always up to something.
    Who the hell are “they”?

  8. I sometimes play “This Little Piggie” with the children at the psych hospital where I work. Except I change the words to suit the situation (“This little piggie wound up in the hospital, this little piggie practiced diaphragmatic breathing; this little piggie needed Thorazine…”).

    What would your Army version be for your job, coworkers or any aspect of your Army experience?

  9. How do you deal with shame? Serious and not, please. Thank you.

  10. film x

    Rantswers 3.0 | BrainRants

    • Apparently you’re a porn purveyor. I still need you to put your comment into the form of a question, to quote the Canadianian Alex Trebek. Also, you probably smell like elderberries. And your father is a squirrel.

  11. WordPress ate my questions.

    So, again….

    1. You get to choose three songs to loop together as elevator music, what do you choose? You will be riding said elevator…
    2. R u a txtr? Wats ur .02 on txt spk? TIA.
    3. What’s the best way to say fuck off without actually saying fuck off?

  12. Are we really in the matrix, and if so why isn’t the food better?

  13. Question 1: Tis the season….What was your best Halloween costume ever?

    Question 2: Since you like to cook…if that special someone is coming over for dinner and you want to impress…what is the recipe you cook up?

  14. The Elite of Just Alright Says:

    1 +1 =2

    2 + 2 =4

    4 x 4=16

    What is the mass of the Sun oh Mighty Rants?

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