Cooking With Rants: Curried Cauliflower

Hey!  Hey, you!  *taps on car door window*  Wake up, in there!

Yes, I’m pandering to my typical Rants Army crowd here.   But I want to put out this new recipe I found, beacause holy awesomesauce fuckchunks, this is damn tasty, and really, really cheap.  Also, it’s moderately healthy, if you can tolerate the smell of human-sourced methane.

I picked this gem up at my son’s high school graduation.  Afghans have a similar thing, but without the curry, and without the delicious.  Yeah… on to the cooking:


1 head cauliflower, rinsed and rendered into small florets, minimize stalk material

1 tsp Cumin

2 Tbl  Curry

4 Cloves garlic, smashed and diced

Ground red pepper – to taste

Red pepper – optional (hot!)(but add when hot)

1/4 tsp – Cinnamon (optional, add at end)

Black pepper – to taste

Salt – to taste

Onion powder, or 1/4 onion, diced very fine – or to taste

Olive oil


Steam all the cauliflower until just tender.  At the same time, put all the garlic, some curry, some cumin and your estimated preference of spices into a large bowl that will allow tossing the cauliflower.  Whisk or fork all together with 1/3 cup olive oil.  Put the oil mixture into a microwave oven for 30 seconds, and re-stir.  Check cauliflower.

When barely tender, drain cauliflower and add to oil and spice mixture.  With spoons or tongs, toss the cauliflower as you would a salad to coat the meat of the plant in the oil/curry/cumin mixture.  When coated, taste.

Add salt, black pepper, and as much curry and cumin as your taste dictates.  May be served immediately with pork or chicken.  Cooled for storage in the refrigerator, the cauliflower will absorb the cumin and curry – and other spices – very well.


Salt added will enhance this exponentially, so be cautious when adding.  The onion, if using the fresh chopped option, should steam with the cauliflower.  Also, make sure to add all the cauliflower trailings to your mulch pile – it will make great soil!

My estimates of the curry and cumin are about half of what I actually used.  I like it mega-spicy, but curry can sneak up on you.  As a reference, I always order “Off the menu hot” curry at places that do curry.  Yeah.  I’m a joy to be around the next day.

Cauliflower – steam until “al dente.”  Don’t over cook it or it will just turn to mush when you mix the flavoring in.  Then again, it tastes the same, so be advised.


42 Responses to “Cooking With Rants: Curried Cauliflower”

  1. ok I don’t like Cauliflower but this one I may try! I love spicy curry. I know a lot of people substitute pureed cauliflower for mashed potato, think this would work that way too?

  2. Interesting. Not a big cauliflower fan, but this sounds yum. Making note to double the curry and cumin. The spicier, the better. Heat is good.

    You should do a cooking show.

  3. My kids squawk about the stench when we’re cooking cauliflower…this oughtta fix their l’il red wagons! The ten year old craves spicy – this may be the solution to getting him to eat his veggies. Thanks!

  4. I don’t like curry, but the rest sounds good! I like mashed cauliflower myself. I actually will eat it over mashed potatoes (when iem trying to eat right that is!)

  5. Wow. You just blew my preconceived image of you as an unrepentant carnivore out of the water. You do eat vegetables.

  6. Mashed cauliflower is much better than unmashed cauliflower. I would try this, otherwise cauliflower is the devil’s vegetable.

  7. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    I agree with Jaded, you should do a cooking show.

  8. I had curried cauliflower at a party about 20 years ago and LOVED it, so much so that I still remember the party. I haven’t ever found a recipe that I like. Can’t wait to try this!

  9. Pander away, oh great culinary leader. We are yours to command! Speaking of which, I’ll see if I can get the one who thinks she’s a chef, to build me some of this – minus the grenade, of course. 😀

  10. Sounds wunderbar!

  11. Steamed cauliflower variations. Curry and Spanish ‘tater. Both sound easy …and healthier than what I probably want to eat.
    Spicy is good

  12. This is very similar to the curried cauliflower that I do! Except I also add butter. Because if you’re not adding bacon to something, you should be adding butter.

  13. 本当にする必要があります検索を含むプレミアム品質でプラダハンドバッグがあるし、多くはないサイト利用可能なオンラインを本当にすることができます依存に。実績をちりばめた合成皮革製クロス体プラスチックキャリアバッグ簡単にすることができますする中に着用、日または任意夜。

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