Rantionary: “H” Is For…

After the second Reader-Sourced Rantionary installment you all had to know the next hellacious letter in my twisted, fictional alphabet was due to drop like a dead-blow hammer to your reproductive parts.

In fine SezMe Street tradition, this installment is brought to you by the letter “H”:

Happy Place: (n)  A mental spot where one goes in a moment of high stress or anger in order to avoid legal penalties up to and including death for the beating, mutilation or murder of asshats, fucktards, BLOG TROLLS and other dillholes who insist on making your life the equivalent of birthing a Volkswagen (women) or passing a football (men).

Hashfag: 1) (n)  A Twitterite (rhymes with Sodomite) who tweets all day, every day, on whatever hashtagged topic is trending hoping for a little more Klout or something resembling influence over the fleeting world of interwebs fame; 2) (n) #a person #who #fucking #hashtags #the fuck #out of everything #they #say, with the same goal in mind as previous included definition.  See also: Attention Whore

Hole: (n) Any orifice from which stupidity or asshattery might originate; Ex.: “Shut your motherfucking hole!”  Also any orifice into which excessive nutrients might be shoveled in true ‘Murrican fashion, Ex.: “Dude, keep shoving that in your pie hole and you’ll grow a kardashianass, jackwad.”

Holy [obj] Batman!: (excl) An expression of awe, horror, disbelief or excitement where the object used in the expression has more-than-tangential reference to the thing or event over which awe/horror/disbelief/excitement is being expressed.

I cannot claim any kind of copyright on this shit, so use freely though with caution.

Don’t forget: If you’re really inspired, add a suggestion and star in my next Reader-Provided Rantionary posts!  Free pingpack per customer! (unless you are an email subscriber, in which case go piss a rainbow)

16 Responses to “Rantionary: “H” Is For…”

  1. Nice. Starting the day off with a laugh is a good thing…hashfag…the things one learns when they read the rantionary.

  2. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    I have no idea why I love saying Holy Smokes Batman!, but I do.
    Thank goodness for “Happy Places.”

  3. Good crop today although I was surprised at the lack of “hell . . .” words considering the letter.

  4. Best usage of “Holy ___, Batman” is when you can start the word with an H. Such as “Holy #Hashtags, Batman!”. 😀

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