Believe it or not, I’ve been at this ranty, complain-y thing for two years today.  How about that shit?

Don’t take this the wrong way, because believe me I look at this much like I do birthdays – with a soured, cranky and grim eye.  Admittedly, though, blogging for two years does require a certain level of attention, dedication, and creativity.  Especially, I’d add, when all you do is bitch about things as I do.  Am I an anger ball?  No, I’m an overdiagnosed PTSD head case, you nutless fuckstick… [breathes] digressing…  I even made up my own swear words when the standard roster of blue language failed me.  Birthdays celebrate your existence – worthless or otherwise.  I don’t believe in enjoying clapping because I completed another lap around the Sun.  Call me a SpEd and throw in a Hugger if you insist on doing that.

Back on topic, I’ll accept some level of celebration on the blog because I did work at this.  I maintained a post a day for nearly a year, and then managed to squeak out some stuff while in the middle of a war.  None of this involved randomly vomiting words onto the blogoshpere and calling myself an auteur.  Some of you might wonder where the daily magic is now, but to be honest I have some… things… going on, and some ideas about where I’d like to take this forum in the future.

To do statistics – because, hey they’re fun and they can lie well for you – I’ve generated quite a bit of content.  As-of this writing, I have managed to rack up about 448 posts.  I generally tried to shoot for 500 words each, give or take.  But to make a conservative estimate, I’d go with 450 words per post.  Everyone okay with that?  No? (Fuck you.)  Yes?  Well then let’s do math.

My calculator says 450 words over 448 posts comes out to 201,600 words.  That’s a lot.  Using the writer’s estimate of 250 words per page, I’ve managed to write an 807-page book.  I’m a foul-mouthed Michener!  Even better, I saved all of you a lot of up-front explanation of how the Earth formed and cooled when I started all those months ago.  I did cover wooly mammoths and how they were rubbed together once upon a time to generate electricity to power iRocks for two of my favorite fans of advanced years, but generally we stuck to the Right Now.

By now you’re wondering: So the fuck what, Rants… where’s my reach-around?  Well, as I hinted at above I’m wondering where I’ll take this blog in the future.  I started this blog as an experiment of sorts to see if I had what it took to A) generate 500 words of original copy every day, and B) entertain people.  I think I did that.  I’ve found that branching out helps creativity, and my guest blogging with Le Clown and Weebles, and later with the crowd at Stuphblog, helped spark the idea that maybe it’s time for the next step.

So now I’m toying with some ideas.  I started this to explore writing but my novel-length blog has sparked zero actual words of fiction, so I might explore that arena.  I’m also considering a more serious side-blog on cool military stories, and perhaps make it collaborative.  I’ll complete the Rantionary, but I’m very tempted to start a recurring “Rantswers” like that thing Yahoo! does but more awesomer.  That might allow me to show my more decisive and manly style.

I’m not stopping, don’t worry.  A war couldn’t stop me, right?  I’m just appreciative for all the comments (except for you two fucking trolls… you and you) and support.  I’ve always maintained that the best half of blogging is fielding comments.

Leave a comment and tell me what you think…

81 Responses to “Rantiversary”

  1. Le Clown Says:

    The only thing you should be celebrating is having done the Holy Trinity of Le Clown’s blog. And writing on that Weebles’ blog. And there is also cause for celebration for writing on Twindaddy’s blog. And it’s your blogiversary… I guess there’s cause for celebration for that…
    Le Clown

  2. Happy rantiversary, Spedly…I hope I’m not one of the “yous”.

  3. Congrats! Now the Internet is complete.

  4. Happy blogiversary!
    2 years? Wow, you’re getting old…

  5. You should join Adam Carolla on the ranting thing. Got an idea, about creating a new blog, if it´s going to be military make it original in the sense of walking people through how military life functions and deployments, in a humorous voice with your voice of irony-sarcastic. I say this because it would be unique plus there are a bunch of blogs or books out there of the ugly part of the military specially being deployed. EX.I wrote a flash-story which I submitted to an author and he liked it from hundreds that were send to him. In few sentences I´ll give an example, ” I ran out my barracks to get in formation on the second day of basic training still with my head frozen because of all the hair the sucked out of my head, I got to the patio where there where 4 companies each composed of about 150 bold headed same clothes dudes and I ran from one company to the next looking at the faces who where standing at attention trying to figure out which one was my platoon, fuck! how can I figure it out at the second day when everyone looks the same, they should put some pink roses in one platoon and yellow flowers in others and so on and so forth” Something like that I wrote.
    It´s just a thought. I always laughed at the absurdity of the things they made us do, although I know it all has a reason. But putting the twist of laughing at it,while at the end making a point as to why it is that way, it´s a funny read for people who don´t know that life.
    Take it or live it, Stay Frosty sir.

  6. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    I think whatever you do with your writing – it will be great! You are one of the best and one of my favorites!

  7. Saaaaaluuuute! Congrats on the Rantiversary! Keep up the, um, er, good work! Yeah, that’s it “good work”. Heh. Seriously, I am glad to have come across this place. It’s almost like finding a good neighborhood bar. Except there’s no booze. Or hookers. Yet.

  8. All you need is beer now that I’m here…

    Congratulations on two years! Very impressive!

  9. I think you started 2 days before me, that’s what I think.

  10. Congrats, Rants. Can’t wait to see what you come up with next.

  11. Happy Blogiversary Rants! I tried pasting something in here for you but it didn’t work. So I’m typing this out with my own 2 little hands, specially for you:
    Dear Fucker:
    You are my fucking friend
    And I hope you fucking know that’s true
    No matter what the fuck happens,
    I will stand the fuck by you.
    I will fucking be there for you,
    Whenever the fuck you need me.
    To lend you a fucking hand
    To do you a fucking good deed
    So just fucking call on me
    Whenever the fuck you need anything
    Fuck . . . I will always be there
    To the fucking end.

  12. The Elite of Just Alright Says:

    Erickson and I. We are you and you.

    Also imagine a collaborative blog effort between you, me, and Erickson there. Could the Internet survive?

  13. Ha! Rubbing wooly mammoths together! I needed that chuckle 🙂

  14. I don’t really have any ideas for you as I hardly have any for myself other than wallowing in self pity, but congrats on two years and keep up the good work!

  15. hee heeee heeeee hee fuckstick

  16. hey Hey HEY! Who the heck are you calling “you”, you?!? I am NOT a troll. Trolls live under bridges, and the nearest creek is called “Shit Creek” for a VERY good reason! (Hint: those ain’t fish swimming in there. 😉 ) No troll here – though I will accept an honourary Uruk-Hai nomination.
    730 days, eh? Not bad for an officer. Maybe we’ll get some real work outta ya, now that you no longer have the burden of incoming fire – from either direction. 😉 😀

  17. I certainly hope I’m not the other troll too…I know John is one. I would also prefer the title of favorite commenter or beautiful lady who comments frequently, your choice.

  18. Happy Anniversary, you crank monster, you!

    Here’s a kiss on your cheek- MWA! No, not your ass cheek, fucker.
    Here’s a slap on your ass- SLAP!
    And here’s an atta boy- “ATTA BOY!”

  19. Congrats – can’t wait to see what’s next

  20. I like the military idea a lot a lot a lot. I assume writing is some form of release for you and I think that’s fucking cool. Regardless I know you’ll publish something and I hope you do!

    • Thanks, LaLa! Once I make up my (absent) mind, I’ll blogblast it to drum up business. And you’re right – it’s like therapy, but free. *twitch*

  21. Congrats on the Second Rantiversary! I began my blog a month after you, but I haven’t been nearly as prolific and I don’t have that whole stuck on the other side of the world fighting a war to use as an excuse.

    You rock! I’m sure whatever direction you take will make for interesting reading.

  22. Uh, everyone else is all fancy about their comments but I just really loved ‘nutless fuckstick’ and plan to incorporate it into everyday usage…so, it’s kind of like you’re leaving a legacy…

  23. I’m only sorry I didn’t discover you and your ranting much sooner. Here’s to many more rants. Also, thanks for the reach-around, that was a nice one. I’m off to smoke a cigarette now.

  24. Congrats, man. I passed my 3 year blogiversary a couple weeks ago. All I did was write a post saying “Hey, I’ve done this for 3 years.” The world seemed not to care. Weird, huh?

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