Rantionary: “F” Is For…
I am quite certain that is particular section of the Rantionary is of particular interest to everyone out there who subjects themselves to my posts each day, and for obvious reasons. The letter F is clearly a gold mine of Rantalicious words, all of them unfit for use in even impolite company, and some of which could get your ass beat down hard when used in bars frequented by burly dudes with lots of body hair. In fact, one word alone – you know which one – is so versatile that I’ve been known to utter entire paragraphs using only five or six other words, the rest being the f-bomb and variants thereof.
Without any further delay, my choicer selections beginning with F:
Fiddlefuck: (v) To waste time in a frivolous, stupid manner. What teenagers do to fill time when putting off a distateful but inevitable activity such as homework, chores or bathing.
FUBAR: (adj) Military acronym with strong cross-over utility meaning Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition. The condition in which a thing or person is rendered completely useless, nearly completely disassociated, possibly leaving only small gobs of sticky, smoking meat scattered around the sizzling crater.
Fuck Chunks: (adj) A term of positive inclination that implies awesomesauciness due to the inherent goodness of fuck coming in large, thick, heavy chunks.
Fucktard: (n) A portmanteau word that summarizes the epithet, “Fucking Retard.” Fucktards may be found everywhere, generally licking windows and screwing up your day in every way possible. Not an insult to the genuinely mentally handicapped except insofar as fucktards bring shame upon the species in general.
Fuckwit: (n) Another portmanteau indicating a witless person of the extreme variety; someone whose wits you could give a fuck about.
Fuckery: (n) That which occurs when fucked-upedness happens; the general actions of a fucktard or fuckwit; activity which may render something FUBAR.
Fujazzle: (v) To dress up anything qualifying as fuckery with sparkles, rainbows or posing said fuckery with kittens, puppies or bunnies in order to make it marginally acceptable. To put a pig in a dress, with lipstick. To polish a turd.
Fustercluck: (n) Term for use in polite company implying the word ‘clusterfuck.’
As always, I cannot claim any kind of copyright on this shit, so use freely but with caution.
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Remember: As with “That Guy,” I’m taking suggestions for periodic RantReader suggested words! Leave a comment with whatchoogot!