Did You Just Say That Out Loud? #9

As-of writing and posting this using the scheduling post feature, it is April of ’12, and I’m fully out of awesome shit that I’ve said out loud. Now, knowing myself, that merely means that all of the stellar shit that spews from my dumbass piehole during this deployment has only built up on my document file for later, after I get home. So, point being, stand the fuck by.

Shot, over:

Fuck! … What!?!”

“No. Just no… no, wait – not just no, but no-fucking-way-hell-the-fuck-no-motherfucker, no.”

“Yeah? So what do you think of your Mom shaving her back for me?… Wow, amazing, ‘cause that’s what she said.”

“So, we’re waiting for some people in Alabama to decide if we can use a document from the Czech Republic that tells us how to fix a helicopter made in Russia and bought by England and flown by Afghans.  No, why the fuck would I be confused?”

“Wow, Mom… the shit you say…”

“I’m not half as think as you drunk I am.” (yeah, that bad)

“Row well, and live. Bitches.”

“Where in the fuck did all my beer go? … Oh… dammit.” (wishing I had this problem right now)

“Don’t look at me. I’m not smart enough to make up shit like this.”

“Mom always said, ‘Don’t make me ride my Harley out to you and beat you.’ “

Almost back…


20 Responses to “Did You Just Say That Out Loud? #9”

  1. JanCorey Says:

    Can’t wait till you return, stay safe over there.

  2. So, is this stuff 11 months old, did you plan it for NEXT month, or have you confirmed my suspicions that the US Army is really a portal to “The Twilight Zone”? 😉
    I think you need to add “Well, (screw) me blue and call me Margaret!”. That one almost always raises eyebrows…

  3. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    “Wow, Mom… the shit you say…” ~ Now, for some reason I had MamaRants figured as a sweet quiet little thing….do you get your rantiness from her?

  4. So on the multiple forms of No entry, you ended up having to do it, didn’t you?

  5. I think my favorite is the one about the helicopter. It almost feels like a “Who’s on First” moment to me.
    Stay safe, Rants!

  6. I like the “Almost back” part the best! I’m catching up on the posts I missed since you cancelled my subscription.

    • I don’t think the blogger can cancel subscriptions. Only the subscriber can do that. I may be wrong. However, either way I’d never cancel anyone’s subscription.

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