Rantionary: Reader-Provided Words #1
The whole Rantionary concept has really taken off. In the tradition of my string of “That Guy” posts, where I elected to take fan-based suggestions and expound on them, I’ve thrown open the Rants tome of vile, naughty and off-color words to the ‘Notes’ page and left the pen resting on the parchment for all y’all. Here are the (alphabetized and shit!) reader-provided submissions so far:
Dickshit: (Erickson) (n) A dickhead who has elevated brown-nosing to the next order of magnitude and keeps other protruding body parts firmly snugged against the posterior of their intended target; A person of brownnosing proclivity who engages in such activity for the express purpose of fucking someone over.
Douchelord: (Jamie) (n) A douchebag of such proportions that his or her status is elevated above that of a mere douche; Lord of all douchebags; a paragon of douchetasticness; Bieber.
Douchenozzle: (Audrey) (n) A douchebag of highly specific scope and purpose who possesses tool-ish qualities; The business-end of a douchebag, to wit, his piehole.
Morhead: (Benzeknees) (n) A person of such profound stupidity that ‘meathead’ and ‘moron’ individually cannot encompass the sheer fuckwittery shown by said individual.
Stay the hell tuned for the rest of the alphamotherfuckingbet. We’re only up to “E” so far, a tantalizing five of twenty-six, which should be even better than Seven of Nine. Don’t forget that if you’re a reader, you can submit! Email, comment, or tweet (yeah, bitches, I’m on Twitter now)(@Brain_Rants) me your awesomesauce words.
Yeah!
BrainRants 
February 25, 2013 at 08:24
Sempiternal. Duh.
February 25, 2013 at 08:33
No, man. That’s an actual word. I’m looking for made-up shit like ‘awesomesauce.’
February 26, 2013 at 08:31
Buttbrain? Buttmuncher? Dickshitter?
February 26, 2013 at 08:54
Surely someone of your elevated intelligence can do better than that, Elite!
February 26, 2013 at 12:24
Foul, bestial buffoon composed of five parts fecal matter combined with an enormous conglomeration of venom from the deepest pits of Tartarus. Otherwise known as a foulbestianbuffooncomposedoffivepartsfecalmattercombinedwithanencourmousconlomerationofvenomfromthedeepestpitsofTartarus.
February 26, 2013 at 12:37
Kinda hard to pluralize… but noted. +10 for creativity!
February 26, 2013 at 12:25
I also love calling people “bitch-ass.”
February 26, 2013 at 12:38
That one is always useful!
February 26, 2013 at 12:36
I think you should give Elite an A+ for the besital buffoon!
February 26, 2013 at 12:38
I did!
February 25, 2013 at 09:15
Good ones!
February 25, 2013 at 21:05
Sweet!
February 25, 2013 at 09:21
I’d like to thank the Rants Army for supporting the use of the word Douchelord. I’d like to thank Brain Rants himself for helping to bring this important word into the world’s vernacular. I’d like to thank Justin Bieber for being a fine example of a douchelord. I’m just so honored to be in this category!
February 25, 2013 at 21:05
And being in the category without being a douchelord!
February 25, 2013 at 13:35
Twenty-six letters may SOUND easy, but I’m really intrigued to see what you can manage with such Scrabble favourites as “Q”, “X”, and “Zed”. And I’m gonna warn ya ahead of time – you are NOT allowed to double-team me by coming up with something insulting for “J-for-John”. Creativity, people! (Hey, I’ve already gotta take the heat for being the homonym for toilet AND prostitute-client! 😯 )
February 25, 2013 at 21:07
John, (ahem) you’re old enough to have caused those two terms to have been associated with you. What am I supposed to do?
February 26, 2013 at 13:45
Well, like I said, don’t mention it. Ever.
February 26, 2013 at 14:33
Okay.
February 25, 2013 at 15:05
I’ve already used morhead in a post, I think.
It shattered my illusion of Benze as a “nice girl”, while raising her in my esteem.
February 25, 2013 at 21:08
There’s nothing “nice” about Benze, unless she’s holding her pistol on you.
February 25, 2013 at 16:35
Awesome. I learn something new everyday.
February 25, 2013 at 21:08
Thanks, Shanna!
February 25, 2013 at 21:48
I don’t know about X, but there’s one Q entry headed your way. How come Nohio Erickson gets to spell it Zed? Probably watched the M.I.B. trilogy. In case you missed it on my post, you can access http://www.surnamedb.com to check out where you came from. Later!
February 25, 2013 at 21:51
Paduan Erickson has no juice. I got your Daughter Unit’s “Q” suggestion, which sparked my entire post today! Ladyryl needs to work at this blogging more. She clearly learned (Learnt?) something from Dad.
February 26, 2013 at 01:26
I was watching an old episode of Supernatural a few days ago & was surprised when they used the term “asshat!” I laughed at the TV because I had never heard it used except here before.
May I also suggest “FOAD” for your alphabet. I think we’ve talked about this before & what it means. You’re right I’m not a nice person if you piss me off!!!
February 26, 2013 at 08:41
I think you mentioned it, but remind me of the meaning, please.
February 27, 2013 at 21:21
I’m not sure if they invented it, either, but I first heard “ass-hat” (and its verb-as-adjective “ass-hattery”) used about 8 years ago, by contestants on “The Amazing Race”. They were describing another contestant’s behavior…
February 27, 2013 at 21:23
Whoops! I think that’s supposed to be “adjective-as-adverb”?
(It’s been a really long time since Grammar school!)
February 27, 2013 at 21:44
Matters not… it’s an awesome word.
February 27, 2013 at 21:43
I’ve covered that one in “A” … sorry.
April 3, 2013 at 20:58
Twatpopped. When Twitter virginity is lost.
April 3, 2013 at 21:07
Oh Shit. No offense. Wow.
April 3, 2013 at 22:27
Offend me? You’re kidding…
April 4, 2013 at 00:42
I don’t know you well enough to kid and that is why I was petrified to say.
April 4, 2013 at 01:18
No worries! I have an extra-thick skin. And as you’ve likely seen, profanity cannot offend me.
April 4, 2013 at 07:53
Yeah, my profanity is quite honed, as well. Still to say you’ve popped your twitter twat to someone who said they’ve just joined Twitter….oh well.
April 4, 2013 at 07:59
My next reader-supplied Rantionary post will have that, trust me.
April 3, 2013 at 22:27
Damn that’s good!
April 4, 2013 at 05:12
Why, thanks!
April 4, 2013 at 05:50
Certainly.