Rantionary: “D” Is For…

Trying to knock down at least four pins this time, and extend the gay sports analogy lead-ins. Today’s selected letter of course is D, and I have to say that after considering the possibilities for X, Q, and Z while keeping in mind my limited brain function, this may well take on two parts and make up for failure where the most hated Scrabble letters come into play.  Of note, I’m generally attempting alphabetization now.

Here are some of my favorites for the letter “D”:

Dafuq: (int) The expression of confusion when situations or things in life are encountered that cause one to ask, ‘What. The. Fuck.’  A short, verbal expression of WTF.

Defuckulate: (v)  The act of unfucking something.  The removal of fuckwittery from a situation.  Normally involves violent or forceful action when applied to a person or object.

Dickhead: (n) A person who is an asshole but is so quite consciously and intentionally. Further, those dickheads perpetrating their behavior are being dickish. For brevity, ‘dick’ is also understood to mean dickhead.

Dildo: (n) A person that you are convinced looks human, acts human, and generally can function as a human but is about as bright as – well, a molded lump of latex rubber; a semi-adequate placeholder. Also, a person showing a lot of action and activity without any real grounding, attachment or brains for that matter.

Dillweed: (n) An individual not stupid enough to be retarded but clearly not bright enough for normal human function, having the equivalent processor power of a garden plant. Like their namesake, however, they do have limited use and function within narrow guidelines.

Dingleberry: (n) Someone who is irritatingly up your ass and cannot be gotten rid of, causing you to waste inordinate amounts of time waiting for the dingleberry to leave so you can do something moderately productive.

Douchebag: (n) A highly irritating fuck who believes they are in fact the shiznit, have at least demigod powers, and are universally loved by all. Douchebags (pl)- also shortened to ‘douche’ or ‘douches’ for brevity – normally speak as though their words are being transcribed immediately and directly into marble tablets. No amount of reality will alter the perception held by the douche that the universe revolves around him or her, when in reality they are just as common as a ziploc baggie and full of warm, slightly acidic water like the rest of us.

As always, I cannot claim any kind of copyright on this shit, so use freely but with caution.

** My thanks to Urban Dictionary for some definition assists and help with letters you hate getting in Scrabble.

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POST DEPLOYMENT ADDENDUM:  Based on an original and very creative submission by LadyRyl recently, I’m opening the floor to the erudite and highly-creative suggestions at large from my Rants Army.  This doesn’t mean I’m obligated to use them, but give it a try!  Just so you know, “Q” is closed.  I know you’re disafuckingpointed.

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29 Responses to “Rantionary: “D” Is For…”

  1. JanCorey Says:

    I like the term “Defuckulate” the most because I see that as most applicable to most situations. Luv this post , so articulate. Great job B.R.

    On a side-note, with the whole issue of people applying for CarryConcealedPistol licenses recently, do you know if a soldier currently under treatment for PTSD can legally be granted such a license? Just curious because I hear of some talk by some I know. Thanks much B.R., keep up the great work you are doing, and hurry home safely.

    • I’m not aware of a prohibition against CC if you have PTSD, but there are many levels of CC out there, and things vary from state to state.

      • JanCorey Says:

        Thanks for the quick reply, B.R. The state I am asking some direct info on is the state of Texas. Maybe, if any of your commentors know, I would be grateful on this issue. Thanks again, B.R., much appreciated.

        • JanCorey Says:

          I know CarryConcealed does ask applicants about mental health issues, but does seeking care under PTSD count as a mental issue of concern for a CCP even though PTSD is classified as a mental issue?

          • I don’t think so. Also, as I recall, they hand out weapons to carry, either concealed or otherwise (“Hey, is that a .30-06 in your pants or…”).

          • JanCorey Says:

            Thanks for your reply B.R., but do you think that a soldier, either former or current, who is in treatment for PTSD should be applying for a CCP license or granted a license?

          • I am not qualified to answer, but would point out that medical professionals ought to have some input, every person reacts differently, and that politicians will fuck up making rules eleven times out of ten. Infer from that what you will.

  2. Will you be using Morehead when you get to M’s? I actually have another blogger using it now!

  3. How many dickheads does a dingleberry have?
    two…
    ones up your ass and the other is breathing down your neck
    .
    ..
    … did I get it right? 🙂

  4. I picked one up a while back – dickshit. Referring to a person, who is not only a dickhead, but has taken brown-nosing to the next, albeit disgusting, level. One who egregiously curries favour specifically to screw others over. Use it in good health!

  5. You forgot Douchelord. If you need an example, Justin Bieber is a douchelord.

  6. Dillweed is always a useful one for the ol’ vocabulary. Although I’m surprised you didn’t have dumbass on the list (some of the ones on here are way more scathing anyway)! Douche-nozzle is one that I regularly use.

  7. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    The post was funny as hell – keep it up!

  8. Haha, those are awesome, and very accurate. I might have to add some of those words to my vocabulary.

  9. 1jaded1 Says:

    Have you seen the other definition of dingleberry? Never heard the term til 4 months ago. After briefly gagging, I laughed til it hurt.

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