Rantionary: “C” Is For…

Here’s the third pitch in my ongoing series examining the choicer terms I have been known to either say or use here in my Rantisphere. Third time being a charm, I do have a PSA up front here to beef up my opening paragraph – there’s one word here for the letter C you won’t see here, and you can figure out which one I’m talking about. If you’re still lost, your hint is that it’s the ‘nuclear option’ to be used when you want to completely piss off a woman and get yourself nuked out of existence.  Even I am not that stupid.

On with this installment, inflicted by the letter C:

Crackhead: (n) A person whose chronic stupidity indicates that they abuse substances regularly. Unlike retardation, this condition is not permanent. However, the crackheadedness will naturally manifest itself only at the time at which this person should be clear-headed.

Craptain Obvious: (n) A Captain Obvious who, due to some mental limitation or other personality defect, only points out the shittiest things that are readily apparent about the situation at hand or the thing in question.

Confusement: (n) The condition of being totally lost and confused. Similar to confusion but of a moderately higher degree and due to attributes inherent to the individual experiencing the confusement.

Cockblock: (n) A douchebag who prevents you from enjoying virtually anything positive, happy, or pleasureable. In the Rantisphere, this has the same connotation as the strict definition as applies to sex but shifted to encompass activities not related to intercourse.

Cranio-rectal inversion: (n) A condition where one’s head, or more importantly one’s brain is temporarily performing a function other than that which it was designed for.  The ensuing swappage will consistently produce results of an odorous and tainted quality until the condition is recto-fied.

Crapella: (n) A mode of singing without musical instrument accompaniment and where the singer’s voice is a danger to self or others. Ex.: “Rants is drunk and singing a crapella in the shower again, cover the childrens’ ears.”

As always, I cannot claim any kind of copyright on this shit, so use freely but with caution.

** My thanks to Urban Dictionary for some definition assists and help with letters you hate getting in Scrabble.