Rantionary: “A” Is For…

The two things that I like best about blogging are the creative process and then the feedback on that creation. A lot of the feedback I’ve received tells me I have a penchant for inventing words, or at least using them in creative ways. Spoiler Alert: most of these words in question are naturally foul – mainly. Mea Culpa. Anyway, putting two and two together in my head naturally resulted in a (hopefully) 26-post-long series about some of my favorite terms.

Being well groomed by public television, today’s post is brought to you by the letter A:

Administrivia: (n) The mind-numbing details of doing virtually everything within a bureaucracy, normally involving forms in quintuplicate, surveys, web-page entries that will not allow you to proceed until all fields are full, and soulless robots who run each system who have the power to say ‘no’ and love it.

Assclown: (n) An asshole that is concurrently entertaining. This is the person who is irritating, unproductive, yet provides just enough comic relief through their blind ineptitude to prevent you from cutting their throat as a favor to the gene pool. In the proper context, assclown can infer sexual orientation. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Awesomesauce: (n) The result of being so completely awesome that this is oozed from one’s awesome pores, resulting in awesomesauce; excessive awesomeness. Being so awesome in nature that it is physically manifested.

Asshat: (n) A person who routinely prefers to wear their own ass as a hat; to infer crainio-rectal inversion; having one’s head logdged firmly in one’s colon. Of note, the asshat does not have any redeeming qualities that would prevent you from unmaking them should you encounter them in a post-apocalyptic scenario where retribution would be not only allowed but encouraged.

Askhole: (n) The self-important gasbag who is morally compelled to ask provocative, detailed and long-answer-requiring questions when anyone in charge of an endless meeting queries: “Any other questions or issues?” Also, that person upon which you focus your Jedi hate-to-death mind power.

Attention Whore: (n) An individual who must have copious amounts of public attention in order to recognize their own existence and will do virtually anything – birth octuplets, ‘accidentally’ release a video of intercourse with a no-name rapper, call everything ‘hot,’ or even strap your child to a weather balloon in the hope of securing a reality show gig – to get their hit. This addictive behavior is normally enabled by the mainstream media.

Asshole: (n) Someone who should not be seen, heard, or otherwise inflicted on everyone else’s senses just like the bodily orifice for which they are named. Similarly, they are out there and they’re fucking everywhere. Finally, just as everyone has one, all of us can be one from time to time.

I cannot claim any kind of copyright on this shit, so use freely though with caution.

** My thanks to Urban Dictionary for definition assists and help with letters you hate getting in Scrabble.


55 Responses to “Rantionary: “A” Is For…”

  1. JanCorey Says:

    Youโ€™re doing a great job with your blogs and your specific blog topics. Keep up the great work, you benefit more than you realize. And, thanks.

  2. Of course, since I’ve been following since before your deployment, I have heard you use awesomesauce before, as well as asshat. Really liked the rest of the definitions. I have been an Administriviator for many years & put up with all the scenarios mentioned there. Hope you are well & safe.

  3. It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban. Sorry had to add this – it was pointed out to me by a fellow blogger.

  4. Love these – can’t wait for the rest…

  5. A lot of Ass in the A’s. I work with a lot of Assclowns. Most people find it irritating, I however enjoy it and it makes work go by quicker some days….slower others. It also makes me feel better about myself.

  6. The Elite of Just Alright Says:

    Why haven’t you written a book yet? I’d read the hell out of it.

  7. Giuliana Rancic from E! News uses awesomesauce all the time. She has a reality tv show too. Just saying. I’m rather partial to amazeballs and douchelord.

  8. Hey, don’t worry about drifting into “R” ratings. We need this service! And remember, assholes and opinions are very similar – everybody has one, and they’re usually fill of … crap. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    (Admit it, you REALLY thought I was finally gonna slip and type “shit” there, didn’t ya? Oh damn – I didn’t mean to say “shit”. Oh hell – I didn’t mean to say “damn”! Aw, fuck it! ๐Ÿ˜€ )

  9. An optrectomy is an operation to sever the nerve linking the eyes and the rectum, to rid many asshats of their shitty outlook on life.

  10. Always enjoy reading your bloggings….starting reading the latest offering after it was posted, but Appropriated it so I could finish folding laundry. Glad to hear from you & be safe.

  11. Apparently when I was correcting my comment to you, I deleted the word SON, who was the Appropriator.

  12. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    I think my fav is askhole.

  13. Sadly, all of these words (and the people they apply to) are well known to me…

  14. THIS is a public service, above and beyond the call of duty! And totall hilarious, per your usual posts. ๐Ÿ™‚ You do have a way with words…

  15. morndai hi..dot…a new day in the lord praise him………………The Lordโ€™s wounded hands, feet, and side reveal Godโ€™s desire to change our hearts by the power of His love.

    Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

    2 Corinthians 5:17, Ezekiel 36:26, Ephesians 3:17-19

  16. JanCorey Says:

    Q: B.R., redeployment in 6 months, is that really necessary for the actual protection of the USA? Really now? Have any deployments since WWII actually helped to protect the USA? Curious on your take on that.

  17. JanCorey Says:

    Sorry for that if it was too extreme, just seen to many incidents happen personally with friends that I struggle to justify myself. Stay safe. God speed.

  18. does an askhole appears with an askhat from afar?
    … so much ass associated with shitties.. hahaha ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

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