More Shit I Believe (Five)

For deployment purposes, these are going to get scheduled and auto-post until I run out of crap to regurgitate for you all to examine. Case in point, this below is the end of my ‘Shit I Believe’ list… for now. Hopefully, in the two months between building and scheduling this post and the time for a new Beliefs installment, some more turds will roll out of my head. Here you go:

…that like raking leaves, making one’s bed has limited utility.

…that we’ve devolved into a political system that allows us to pick the least-worst mouth-breathers for fairly important jobs.

…that silence does not necessarily require words to fill it.

…that some of us are allowed to remain alive merely to serve as a warning to the rest of us.

…in cast-iron cookware.

…meetings are like sex with a gorilla because you’re not done until the gorilla is finished.

…that I could really use a beer right now.

I hope this scratches your itch.

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42 Responses to “More Shit I Believe (Five)”

  1. Hope you’re doing alright man 🙂 . I’ve currently moved up a few timezones, to your west .

  2. I will be sure to send a care package with a beer and a female gorilla.

  3. Hope you’re enjoying the nice dry heat, and that it’s among the biggest of your problems.
    Have to agree with cast iron skillet and unintentinally hurting someone.
    It’s more fun when you have time to plan and savor the intentional hurting.

    • suddenly my ears are tingling. “savor” the intentional hurting? or you could relish the intentional hurting, revel in the intentional hurting, gloat over the intentional hurting.

      I must admit, I have a few times in my life carefully planned and chose my words carefully so as to induce hurt and paranoia is someone who pissed me off. I worded it such that there were so many other possible interpretations that the person looked overly sensitive and paranoid – when in fact, I had intentionally and pointedly chosen those words because I wanted to vengefully and with great malice stab them repeatedly in their brains. In both cases it was professors where I did my training. he he he….nothing like messing with a professors mind and succeeding. you can’t attack them directly or you’re screwed, but indirectly…. he he he he he

    • Yes, Google this shit: Schadenfreude

  4. John Erickson Says:

    Jeez, I leave for a few days, and you guys go ape on me. Guess it’s okay, as long as the monkey is the gorilla your dreams. 😉
    One thing I believe in? That not all shit factories are evil. Were it not for corporate greed, I’d be sitting here roasting without power, for the 3rd of 4th day. Thanks to a quirk of the power lines (which feed the sewer pumps for a cheesehouse down the road), our house and four others have power – and NOBODY else in town does! (About 20 houses total – this is a SMALL town!) The “big” city of Coshocton is almost totally without power – except where my wife works!
    See? I TOLD you guys I got blessed when I found her! 😀

    • Hi John E. I wondered what had happened to you. Cheese house? wouldn’t that put you in wisconsin instead of ohio?

      • Nope. “Pearl Valley Cheese” – located in (oddly enough) Pearl Valley, Ohio. Supposedly world famous cheese, also suggesting that it comes from “Amish Country”, though very few Amish work at the place, and most of the staff and the owning family are non-Amish (or “English”, as the Amish call us heathens).
        There. Clear as mud? 😀

        • you are the master of nonsense. I’d be happy to grant you an honorary Ph.D. in nonsense. When it comes to nonsense, no one does it better than you. I guess that would make it an N.D. or, Doctor of Nonsense. or maypbe better go with Ph.D. in Nonsense – sounds more prestiious, and I want you to get all the credit you deserve for being better then anyone else I know in generating total and complete nonsense.

          • Hey, the whole Pearl Valley thing is legit – Google it sometime. Now, if you want some REAL nonsense, I can try to describe the Amish outlook on electricity. Depends on which group you have, as to their belief set. These folk DEFINE the term “rules lawyer”.
            And as to my PhD (PhN?), well, I’ve seen enough doctors in the past 15 years to qualify as one by now. Sure as heck, I KNOW a lot more than some of ’em, fer DANG sure! 😉

          • Isn’t it awesome how John cannot be insulted? Even by a pro?

          • it’s one of his best qualities.

          • hey! wait a minute! are you suggesting I’m a pro at insulting people?

    • Obviously you’re sucking up here. What did you do to piss her off this time?

  5. I have set through a few gorilla sex meetings lately. Here is to you being able to get that cold beer in the near future Rants!

  6. I only make the bed when I change sheets. The rest of the time I just tell them I’m airing the bottom sheet.
    Silence is Golden unless you have tinnitus.
    Politics is the only thing that makes me want to hurt someone intentionally, otherwise the only thing I kill is spiders…….yuck!
    I’ve been in some of those meetings with those gorillias……glad I retired.
    Can’t say anything about a cold beer, I don’t drink, but a tall glass of ice & lemonade on a hot day does it for me.
    Take care & come home safe………….

  7. “some of us are allowed to remain alive merely to serve as a warning to the rest of us.”

    This explains so much!

  8. Consider the itch scratched! Love seeing posts from you, even if they are scheduled. 🙂

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