Okay, I’m an Olympics junkie. And thank God, too, y’all – we have a TV here in my office so I can watch Americans own people (well, except Jamaicans) in stuff they do well. I have to admit, though, that there were some issues that made me scratch my bald head. I’m sure you’re shocked that that particular revelation.
Some of my collected Olympic thoughts:
The Title. The headlines a week out caught my attention: “The XXX Olympiad.” I thought, fuck yeah! Imagine my disappointment in not seeing a new gangbang queen crowned.
Basketball. Yawn. Is it just me, or was all the men’s basketball just a reshuffle of the entire NBA, but with different playoff rules?
Women’s Beach Volleyball. Yeah, I’ve figured out that after the Army, I’m all about refereeing that shit. Sign me up.
Rhythmic Gymnastics. [snicker]
Competition. Why create a battle that isn’t there? What was up with this whole, “We’re competing with the Chinese for this Olympics?” Really? Can’t we just have sports with the thrill of victory and agony of defeat? Do we have to re-invent the Cold War for fuck’s sake?
NBC. You guys suck. If I had been home, I’d have had to endure two strait weeks of spoiler cockblock syndrome. Enjoy your profits, you lamestream media douchenozzles.
Jamaica. What the hell? Is it something to do with rum? Or something in the water? How do you get that many fast people on one island?
Oscar Pistorius. This guy gets a personal “Rock The Fuck On” from Rants. That, ladies and gentlemen, is heart and determination. Total win, no medal required.
All I can say is I’m glad it’s finally over. I was falling behind on the endless administrivia we enjoy bludgeoning ourselves with over here. I also have to say that it is encouraging to watch people give it their all, whether they win or not.