Feeling Golden

Okay, I’m an Olympics junkie.  And thank God, too, y’all – we have a TV here in  my office so I can watch Americans own people (well, except Jamaicans) in stuff they do well.  I have to admit, though, that there were some issues that made me scratch my bald head.  I’m sure you’re shocked that that particular revelation.

Some of my collected Olympic thoughts:

The Title.  The headlines a week out caught my attention: “The XXX Olympiad.”  I thought, fuck yeah!  Imagine my disappointment in not seeing a new gangbang queen crowned.

Basketball.  Yawn.  Is it just me, or was all the men’s basketball just a reshuffle of the entire NBA, but with different playoff rules?

Women’s Beach Volleyball.  Yeah, I’ve figured out that after the Army, I’m all about refereeing that shit.  Sign me up.

Rhythmic Gymnastics.  [snicker]

Competition.  Why create a battle that isn’t  there?  What was up with this whole, “We’re competing with the Chinese for this Olympics?”  Really?  Can’t we just have sports with the thrill of victory and agony of defeat?  Do we have to re-invent the Cold War for fuck’s sake?

NBC.  You guys suck.  If I had been home, I’d have had to endure two strait weeks of spoiler cockblock syndrome.  Enjoy your profits, you lamestream media douchenozzles.

Jamaica.  What the hell?  Is it something to do with rum?  Or something in the water?  How do you get that many fast people on one island?

Oscar Pistorius.  This guy gets a personal “Rock The Fuck On” from Rants.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is heart and determination.  Total win, no medal required.

All I can say is I’m glad it’s finally over.  I was falling behind on the endless administrivia we enjoy bludgeoning ourselves with over here.  I also have to say that it is encouraging to watch people give it their all, whether they win or not.


38 Responses to “Feeling Golden”

  1. The xxx Olympics would be interesting to watch. What do you have to do to win gold?

    I am truly appreciating the swimmers bodies, I mean swimming. They are gorgeo- really fast!

  2. I love your summary of rhythmic gymnastics. Spot on.
    I loved one of NBC’s REALLY big gaffes. Brian Williams warns of spoilers coming up after the break, including one of the gymnasts and how she fared. The immediate next commercial advertises “See how (whatever her name was) and her mother feel about her winning gold today.”
    Really? REALLY?!? You cant extend the already-pathetic “spoiler alerts” to your own dang commercials?
    And people wonder why I don’t watch sports. Now, you want viewers AND employ you guys once you get back, how about some “put an A-10 cannon round through a bathroom window at 3,000 yards” or “lob a 40mm grenade down the chimney, blindfolded”. Now THAT stuff would be worth watching! (Yeah, I know, that’s the whole reason Military Channel exists. 😀 )

  3. My opinion on the Olympics: IDGAF. Except for Oscar Pistorius. He deserves a Gold Medal for sheer badassness.

  4. That last line of your post pretty much sums it up.

  5. I’m an Olympic junkie as well, but it was really time-consuming… Now I’ve got plenty of time again. Still I’m sobbing for the loss of another two amusing weeks.

  6. I’m with you … I’m glad it’s over. And I’m also disappointed in NBC. It’s like they didn’t even care if they were showing us around-the-clock coverage of old news.

  7. Summed it up nicely, Rants!
    Oscar was amazing – such a champ. And yes, rhythmic gymnastics is a joke.
    I have to ask, when did ping pong and badminton become Olympic sports? Do we just have a general category for Backyard Recreation? It could include lawn darts and shuffle board, while we’re at it. Ugh.

  8. And what about that synchronized swimming? splashy!
    Oh, do want to thank NBC for cutting off the end of the closing ceremonies to show a new “comedy” show and the news…then finally showing the Who and the ending.
    New Olympic sport proposal: Chase the network anchors and network executives……sort of like greyhound racing?

  9. I would like to thank NBC for over-dramatizing everything and TiVO for allowing me to miss 95% of the boring shit.

  10. So glad you got to watch the Olympics over there. I don’t have a Tivo or cable so I was stuck watching 29347278 rounds of volleyball and way too much water polo. Remember when they had other events in the Olympics?

  11. Perfect summation, Rants! Being a “proper” girl and all [husband is laughing hysterically], I totally overlooked the OBVIOUS regarding the XXX Olympics. Yes, there should be some kind of pay-per-view available for that one! ha

  12. Sorry Rants. Curling is held during the Winter Olympics. I didn’t know they had snow in Greece way back when.

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