Did You Just Say That Out Loud #6

This work hopefully auto-posted successfully this first day of June. I mentioned that I wrote these and set each of them up on a timer, sort of like a bomb, if you will. Yeah, not so funny in light of where I am right now. Anyway, enjoy the hilarity, because I have little doubt the coming months will generate a lot more of this sort of material.

“I’m gonna assume you just made an oopsiefuck word choice in there or something.”

“He occupies a universe that interfaces with ours but is obviously not the same.”

“I’d pull my hair out over this, but you know what? I can’t! I’m fucking bald!”

“I’m about to have a significant emotional event.”

“Make me feel better? A five-state killing spree would make me feel better. Why do you ask?”

“You, you and you: panic. You over there – come with me.”

“This is simply the cherry on the sundae that has become my week.”

“I will slap you so hard God will cry.”

“Beat your face against my fist until you’re tired.”

“Relax. I’m with the government. I’m here to help.”

And so it goes…

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38 Responses to “Did You Just Say That Out Loud #6”

  1. oopsiefuck ? I love it! Gonna have to steal that one. 😀

  2. He occupies a universe that interfaces with ours but is obviously not the same. — Did you say that to my kids? Because it sounds like them.

  3. Thank you, you’ve just expanded my snarkcabulary by about 4 phrases.

  4. Dear lord, I wish I’d know you in real life!

  5. John Erickson Says:

    I’ll have to go with the bald one, for obvious reasons. 😀
    And don’t worry, the bomb comparison is apropos. After all, I did get a bang out of it! 😯

  6. These were awesome and I might have to start using some of them.

    Cheers!

  7. “I’m about to have a significant emotional event.” Can I PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE borrow this line? lol. It sounds so much better than “I’m about to lose my shit because I’m a crazy hormonal pregnant lady”.

  8. I will slap you so hard God will cry…I need to put that in my mental file for when my kids get older!!!

  9. These phrases renew my …well, faith in something something something….

  10. Just so you know I’m ripping this off: “I will slap you so hard God will cry.”

    Also, that last one made me have a significant emotional event.

  11. Did you know that President Ronald Reagan once claimed that the nine scariest words in the english language were: “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help”

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