Nerd Stuff

I have to admit that it is probably high time I get my ass to Afghanistan whether I want it or not. I need a break from all the esoteric terms and stuff that I have to deal with all day. What is truly sad, however, is that not only have I managed to absorb a lot of technical information, but I actually have become comfortable enough with the knowledge and lingo to come up with some wild shit.

I call this phenomenon “incipient nerdism,” and it’s apparently happening to me. I admit I have a base-line level of nerdhood. I am a Trekkie. I read SciFi regularly. I think computers are cool. I watch PBS.Β However, I’m getting way too good at coming up with nerd pickup lines and things that sound dirty:

“I’m tired of networked solutions… I want my user interface to interoperate directly with yours.”

“That’s a huge hard drive.”

“Your distributed server architecture is so elegant… I can’t stop thinking about the central ring node.”

“Stick that USB into the socket.”

“I can’t push my bandwidth down that farΒ because the pipeline is way too small.”

“How about some peer-to-peer content sharing?”

“This port is open.”

“Two teraflops? Really? Wow.”

“The Trojan used a backdoor technique.”

I think a year in Afghanistan ought to cure me of this, so I can return to my knuckle-dragging, paste-eating, nose-picking Tanker ways.


48 Responses to “Nerd Stuff”

  1. ahahahah xD dude, that’s got me laughing . Oh yes. Weird shit!

  2. You’d better get a patch and a good firewall so you don’t find yourself in a viral situation…

  3. hinduish Says:

    i eat lizards with moose sauce.

  4. “Just chain the slave behind the master” (Old hard drive arrays)

    The lines aren’t surprising, since the number one use of the net is surfing porn.

  5. Hilarious! Maybe there’s a 12 step program for nerds? I may need to join you for a couple sessions myself. Lord of the Rings and Star Wars quotes are getting out of hand lately…

  6. Dude! You need to enter this contest:

    Tell Andra that you’re about to leave for Afghanistan and she’ll rig the contest in your favor! πŸ˜€

    • Mark, thank you for that, I truly appreciate the thought. Try and keep Erickson under control while I’m out.

      • That might be an impossible task….. until I can get him back on his meds…..

        • John Erickson Says:

          That’s the problem – I AM on my meds! :p

          • John Erickson Says:

            Dude – 3 Vicodin and counting. And that’s not counting the various “once-a-day” meds, nor the evening’s party-pills of Valium and muscle relaxants. That’s why I’m writing now – might not be able to later! πŸ˜€

          • You forgot the Celebrex and Metamucil.

          • John Erickson Says:

            Them ain’t drugs. Them’s food!
            (Now admit it, you’re gonna be freezin’ yer butt off in a foxhole somehwere, TOTALLY missing our lunatic exchanges. Admit it!)

          • In Kabul? Only in Winter. And I’ll be in a cubicle, dammit. I hate my life… someone pass me a high-powered rifle…

          • John Erickson Says:

            But isn’t your fate in your own hands? Just find your C.O., kick hijm in the nuts, and tell him you’re doing his daughter. THAT should get you assigned to a nice, live-fire zone. Or maybe to EOD – as the guy who finds the mines by stomping REAL hard on the ground! πŸ˜‰
            Just be glad you don’t serve with the North Korean military. Since their rocket engineers build submarines, I can only assume that riflemen (and especially tankers) are assigned to prostrate exams! πŸ˜€

          • Dude, CO-nut-kicking generally doesn’t get the outcome you want. Er, uhm, so I’m told.

          • John Erickson Says:

            Well, I’d suggest kicking the crap out of the C.O.’s aide, but from what I’ve heard, that’s more likely to get you a DSC and an early out than a plum assignment. So I’ve been told VERY often! πŸ˜€

          • John Erickson Says:

            Well, you could try my dad’s formula. He was in a repldepo in Korea, waiting for assignment, when the colonel in charge stormed through his tent, ragingly pissed ’cause his generator kept tripping and he couldn’t have his ice cream. My dad offered to take a look at it, fixed it, and spent the rest of the war FIRMLY in the rear, making sure the full bird got his daily ice cream!
            Just whatever you do, if you see some young grunts posing for the camera, get the heck outta the frame. Please? πŸ˜‰

          • I don’t engage in war-trophy hunting. I hunt Taliban. I also can’t fix generators.

          • John Erickson Says:

            Hey, you gotta be good at SOMETHING that some high brass needs. Find it, and the world is your oyster. Or something philosophical like that.
            Now excuse me, it’s beddy-bye-drugs time. Some of the REALLY good stuff. Say goodnight, Gracie! πŸ˜‰

          • I know. Guess what? I’m going to bed now. Good night!! Long day tomorrow.

          • John Erickson Says:

            I’d give you the Vulcan wish of “Peace and Long Life”, but the former just doesn’t seem right, given the situation. So I’ll just wish you clear skies and safe travels. And all the patience in the universe! πŸ˜‰

          • Hey, all Soldiers wish for peace – and uneventful, boring deployments. Live long, and Prosper. *Spock hand thing*

        • Shhh… he’s listening…

  7. John Erickson Says:

    Hey, be glad you never learned Assembler. Otherwise, I’d have to ask you to poke your address into my buffer so I can poo my stack! πŸ˜‰
    Armies come, armies go. Nerd is FOREVER! πŸ˜€

  8. Thank God this all sounds like gibberish to me (except of course the references to Star Wars)!

  9. whiteladyinthehood Says:


  10. savorthefolly Says:

    I’m pretty sure nerdism is incurable, kind of like herpes.

    • savorthefolly Says:

      er……didn’t mean to imply I have herpes, or you have herpes, or even that nerdism is unpleasant like herpes. I’m a huge fan of nerdism – had it all my life. thinks everyone should catch it. the silence on my comment was deafening. this shit just pops into my head and then I type it and hit post. more of a comment on my sick sick mind then anything else.

      • John Erickson Says:

        I wouldn’t worry too much, Savor. I’m sure ‘Rants understands that nerdism IS like Herpes. There’s no cure, it rears its’ ugly head at the most inopportune times, and I’ve seen it wreck marriages – not to mention consuming HUGE sums of money if not VERY carefully treated! (Yeah, that last one is more like being a Trekkie. Now where the heck is that “Spock ears” emoticon? πŸ˜‰ )

        • savorthefolly Says:

          ah….but of course. only a mind as twisted as John’s would understand my sick sick point. thank you John. πŸ™‚

          • John Erickson Says:

            That’s what I’m here for. As my wife says, if I can’t serve as a shining example, I’ll serve as a terrible warning! πŸ˜‰

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