Random Thought # 41

Why – why in the name of wiggly little puppies do people plant hell-thorn shrubs around houses? These aren’t rose bushes. These have steel-tipped spikes that will penetrate leather welding gloves. Fuck.

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30 Responses to “Random Thought # 41”

  1. Why, whose house were you trying to enter other than by the front door? ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    Hell-thorn shrubs..can you buy these at Lowes? It does sound like they would make a good deterrent from people up to befucklementary….(I would plant these around all my windows) lol.

  3. hinduish Says:

    they are so pretty

  4. I have no house plants at all and only palm trees in my yard. And a gardener so they stay alive.

  5. Aren’t these the kind of plants highly recommended by security experts to inhibit criminal entry into your home? Who would go through all those thorns just to break in? You must still be at your mother’s house – just think of her as well protected from burglars.

  6. Maybe the hell thorns are to keep the wiggly puppies from escaping?

  7. OUCH! That’s gonna leave a mark!

    Thorny bushes around windows are great protection from neer~do~wells intent on breaking and entering in the middle of the night.

    And they give hard-working, under-paid homeowners a chance to head inside for a band-aid . . . and a beer!

  8. I hear napalm makes a good pruning agent, or, failing that, C4. Don’t get them too near the house, I understand they can affect the paint.

    • The paint may well be done this summer, if the bureaucratic machine has any good to shit out. However, your suggestions are spot-on. *scribbles*

  9. Can’t have you getting comfortable or making things too easy for you….

  10. John Erickson Says:

    A cheap form of easy-to-deploy napalm is spray carburetor cleaner, available at any auto parts store and most Wal-Marts. Good for whatever ails you – including obnoxious neighbors.
    Speaking of which, could you forward me a few sprigs of that hell-thorn stuff? I have some gardening work to do…..

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