Did You Just Say That Out Loud? Part Four

Being the first of the month, it’s time again for one of my monthly series, and this one you all get even more wacky shit that I’ve actually said out loud. Based on this stuff, people tell me I should probably get my own TV show.

Here’s this iteration:

“That is just three scoops of awesome.”

“I’m this close to going out and chlorinating the gene pool… starting with him.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, I guess I wasn’t speaking English when I asked you to do that.”

“It’s people like you that make me drink.”

“That just made me throw up in the back of my throat a little.”

“My Give-A-Fuck Factor is negative right now.”

“This is like prison sex… but without the tenderness and lubrication.”

“When you clowns get done playing grab-ass in the parking lot, can we get back to doing something vaguely military here?”

“I suppose you want fries with that, too.”

“This tastes so awesome I could just shout, ‘Fuck!’ and slap myself!”

Stay tuned for the upcoming few weeks, as I’ll continue to post daily as long as I can. Rock on.


32 Responses to “Did You Just Say That Out Loud? Part Four”

  1. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    i would watch your t.v. show…

  2. You need to write a book. I’m serious, even if it is April Fools’.

  3. Um, yeah. This isn’t April Fools this is you alright.

  4. I like the Give A F factor…that is fantastic!

  5. You + Words = 3 scoops of AWESOME!

  6. John Erickson Says:

    I can just SO see you howling out the “grab-ass/vaguely military” line. It’s just so … YOU. 😉
    “Slap me silly and call me Margaret” always gets me raised eyebrows. 😀

    • Thanks, and I have to ask: why ‘Margaret‘?

      • John Erickson Says:

        ‘Cause I first heard it with “Margaret”, and it just kind of flows that way. Maybe a tribute to our favourite Army major and nurse? 😉

        • Whatever floats your boat, John.

          • John Erickson Says:

            I don’t have a boat. Or even a mid-size. I tend to prefer compacts. 😉

          • You know you have a ’70’s station wagon.

          • John Erickson Says:

            Oh my God, I WISH!!! My dad sold his 1970 Chevy Brookwood right out from underneath me, for which I will NEVER forgive him. A guy in our neighborhood back in Chicago had the perfect Q-car – an early 70s Dodge wagon with a 440 Six-Pack, tuned with a REAL quiet exhaust. He’d hunt down Mustangs and Camaros, get them to drag from the traffic light, and smoke ’em! AWESOME!
            I gotta settle for a 96 Buick with a V-6. IF the poor thing’s left-side strut mount can be repaired. If not, it’s gonna be an all-Cavalier fleet here. Nice, but I do SO want a wagon in my life! 😦

          • John Erickson Says:

            Dang it, are we gonna have to go through that whole Abbot & Costello-like “boy” routine again? What is this, summer rerun season?!?

  7. “It’s people like you that make me drink.” I am soooo using that!

  8. My favorite: “Talk to the fist, the hand stopped listening a while ago”

  9. Even better than Mail Call with R. Lee Ermey! And you could teach the world a thing or two about tanks!

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