Sick Search Terms #3
There is really no telling from week to week which stream of free entertainment is more polluted with twisted perversion. Never one to turn away a good laugh, here’s even more search terms collected from this very blog site.
Remember: someone actually typed these into a search engine somewhere –
How I eat fries when I’m alone – I have to wonder why anyone would have differing methods of fry consumtion based on whether or not they’re alone. That really implies some sick shit. What are they doing with the fries? Nasty.
Freakass hose – Not touching this. Or the freakass hose. Eeew.
I don’t understand a shit – Admittedly, neither do I. However, I’d suggest that you either ask the shit to speak up, enunciate, or speak more slowly. Then again, the shit could have too much of a potty mouth to be understood completely. Oh yeah, I just did.
Garanimal underwear – I thought they only made outerwear. If I’d only known. I could have raised my game in coordinating my clothes, starting with the underfuckingwear and working my way out to my pimp-ass threads. Hell, I kind of still wear Garanimals.
Three terms in the ass tube – What. The. Fuck? Does this mean someone is a semester away from an Ass-Sociates? I am afraid to ask.
Would a cast iron skillet be good for a zombie apocalypse? – Though I’m no expert on the subject of zombie apocalypses, I do know my cast iron. I’d say that yes, it would be effective for cooking as well as defense, but I’d caution that it would be a last-ditch weapon since you have to let the zombie get to within arms’ reach of you. Just sayin.’
Dehumidifier water apocalypse – This goes in so many directions at once I have no idea what to do with it. Other than the obvious that there’s a lot of apocalypse searching going around, zombie and otherwise. But really, dehumidifier water? WTF?
Ensenada John Erickson – I shudder at the J.E. soliloquy this will generate below. But more disturbing is whatever J.E. was doing in Ensenada, although I suspect that his bloglessness was probably doing something involving blue pills bought at deep discount, because once you have them you don’t want to be in Tijuana or Juarez. Seriously. I did not click this because I assumed there were pictures.
Spams in ass – Is this really happening? It’s bad enough they clog my email inbox. It’s worse still that some dilweed can figure out how to use blog comments as spam. And now you’re telling me those spams will fill my ass? Kill me now.
Not entirely bad for a free source of entertainment. Twisted, but free.