Not Your Average Award

If my readers know anything about me for certain, they know that I generally decline responding to the thousands of chain-letter ‘awards’ that circulate the blogosphere like the flu in a gradeschool. This is not to say I don’t appreciate the consideration and thought, but rather I elect to thank the person who nominated me and attempt to stop the blog herpes from continuing.

I did recently respond to the “Tag” one, just because the questions were awesome. That in turn brought around a mysterious and admittedly-hermetic blogger, Dotty Headbanger. This mysterious Brit offered an award, which of course hooked me since awards are normally given, not offered. So visiting her site, I was elated to see an original award that anyone can come and just kinda claim. Right up my alley. And it has odd questions! From her site:

THE DOTTY HEADBANGER AWARD

FOR BEING MENTAL AND LOVING IT

I’m not really sure how this award thing works, but from what I’ve seen there are specific QUESTIONS TO ANSWER, so here are the questions for THE DOTTY HEADBANGER AWARD FOR BEING MENTAL & LOVING IT.

And so I answer the questions:

1. How many bricks do you own? I sense a trick question. Urban Dictionary had nineteen pages defining ‘brick.’ Going with the obvious interpretation, I outright own two. If you want to consider the others that I quasi-own and/or are currently signed for, well, I’ll have to go outside and start doing some complex math and guesstimating – I live in a brick house.

2. How many Cumberland sausages can you fit in your mouth without chewing? You almost got me on this one. Lucky for me I have The Google. Answer: none, if you require an integer for an answer. I have zero interest in seeing how many sausage-type meat objects I can stuff into my mouth at once. Chewing or otherwise.

3. What is your most inventive way of using biscuits (or cookies if you’re American)? I normally just eat them, and depending on the biscuit, I’ll dunk them in some kind of nonalcoholic beverage – no, wait, some of those are ok (try Oreos in Kahlua or Bailey’s)(Fuck yeah). I admit to having once used about a quarter-biscuit set out near my sink to lure some invading ants to where I wanted them in order to destroy them. It was a sugar cookie.

4. If it was made compulsory to have a mental illness which one would you choose and why? (If you have a mental illness already you have to choose another). So many options, you know? Anorexia would work for a while but then would become counterproductive. I have enough addictions already, and so I have to avoid that. I guess I’d have to take multiple personalities. Then when I write, I could switch up voices easily and come up with some really kick-ass dialogue… assuming I wasn’t arguing with myself the whole time.

I’m not sure why, but I feel confused. Something must have rubbed off. Anyway, check it out – remember: you have to go claim it for yourself. I await judgment as to whether I’m mental or not.

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16 Responses to “Not Your Average Award”

  1. Brain….. Now I see why the nickname’s apt.
    Never heard of baileys with oreos but now it just seems like the most natural idea ever . You visionary, you….
    …..funny thing is, last week I had the idea to blend oreos with vanilla smirnoff and freeze it, sadly I don’t have a belnder in my dorm room so it’ll have to wait….. Thoughts?

  2. Welcome to Britishness!

  3. Dear BrainRants,
    Courtesy of a picture-making genius named clownonfire I now have a posher, more classy award picture, ideal for snobby bloggers who don’t like the award picture I made myself.
    Love Dotty xxx
    P.S. Don’t be confused. It will all make sense if you let it.

  4. You are truly deserving of this one!

  5. I love this:

    If my readers know anything about me for certain, they know that I generally decline responding to the thousands of chain-letter ‘awards’ that circulate the blogosphere like the flu in a gradeschool. This is not to say I don’t appreciate the consideration and thought, but rather I elect to thank the person who nominated me and attempt to stop the blog herpes from continuing.

    I concur. All these non-monetized awards circulating endlessly around the blogosphere are ridiculous. We might as well give awards for continuing to breathe! 😆

  6. You’re only asking now if anyone would judge you mental???
    Great answers, and congrats!

  7. I’m not sure you can classify yourself as mental if you are too smart to attempt stuffing meat encased products into your mouth just to see how many will fit. I would call you more “off the wall” & I think it’s great – where else would we get our laughs?

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