Dude, You’ve Been Tagged!

Sigh.

By now my faithful and senior Rants Army members know well my opinion of blog awards, and those with any artistic ability in them could probably sketch me posed with a grim and icy gaze when asked about my opinion of these things that amount to not a lot more than chain letters.

Sometime Thursday night while in a coma I was tagged by both Darlene and Megan. I’m not quite sure what the rules are, though another thing you’ll guess in advance is I’m not gonna follow the rules. However, from what I can tell, I’m supposed to laugh at their initial 11 answers, take up the challenge of answering 11 more, and then pull 11 of my own from my ass and inflict them on some number of readers.

Because my Woobie post took a big chunk of my creativity recently, I’ll answer my 22 questions. Beginning with Darlene’s:

1. Of the five senses – which would you sacrifice to keep the other four? Easy: smell. I’d probably lose some weight too.
2. What is the first website you check in the morning? This blog – I’m a statistiholic. Also, I’m a bit … oooh squirrel!
3. Zombies or Vampires? Context? To watch in movies? Vampires. To have to fight off – zombies.
4. Feed the poor or Eat the rich? Feed the poor, because fat humans don’t render well on the grill.
5. Romance Novel or Thriller? Thriller, because I’m emotionally detatched.
6. Favorite Band? Disturbed, if I have to pick just one… do I really? Aw fuck.
7. Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall? All ya gotta do is call… uhm, Spring.
8. Is there anyone in your past that, looking back, you never would have dated? Lizzie Borden. Maybe that Borgia chick. What?? Are you from an alternate timeline or some shit?
9. What could you eat over and over.. and over again? *snicker* Bacon!!
10. Which deadly sin would you most associate yourself with? Easy: gluttony. See the previous answer.
11. Car, motorcycle or something else? If something, else, what? *giggle* Tank! M1A1 variant of the Abrams, please.

… And moving on to Megan’s:

1. The best moment of your life? See below…
2. The worst moment of your life? I’d say all the moments of the 43+ years are all equally good and equally bad. Too Zen for you? Fine, but don’t lose sight of the fact that who you are now is the sum of all those moments, so even the bad ones can be good, and the good ones sometimes bad. Fucking deep, huh? I need a beer.
3. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be? I try to avoid fucking with the temporal flow as much as possible. I mean really – if 1066 had turned out differently, I’d be answering this in French. Scary, huh?
4. If you could go back and tell someone how you really felt when you didn’t, who would it be? Nobody – see below.
5. If there was someone who you could tell how you really felt now who would it be? Nobody – I am as subtle as a 2×4 in the teeth, so I’ve never been described as not candid enough.
6. Your greatest achievement? Has probably yet to be earned, honestly. Graduating college took a bit of effort, though.
7. Someone you wanted to be proud of you who weren’t? No idea here. I’m a pretty good judge of character, and some folks you’re just proud of in spite of any reasons not to be… life isn’t black and white.
8. List the best people in your life right now. I just don’t have enough space here…
9. Your joy in life is… Woodworking and carpentry.
10. What you wish you could do but cannot? Write as well and prolifically as Stephen King.
11. If I gave you an airline ticket for anywhere in the work were would you go? Where’s anywhere? Can’t find it, just like the ‘any’ key. Can I exchange this for one to Scotland?

In keeping with not following the rules, I’m not coming up with 11 questions, nor am I inflicting this on anyone else other than those unfortunate enough to open this post. I’ll state for the record here also this is the last “Tagged” award I’ll service as well so that I can crawl back in my curmudgeonly hole and rant poetic.