Why Bradleys Rock

Back in November I provided you a post about why tanks rock. Tanks are, in my humble opinion, completely awesome. No surprise there, me being a Tanker of course. What you might find interesting is that I also think the Bradley Fighting Vehicle – or BFV for short – is pretty cool too. Not as completely shit-hot, ass-kicking fucking awesome as an Abrams tank, but pretty darn close. After all, Scouts (the fraternal twins of Tankers) use them too.

The BFV was born out of the same concerns that the Abrams tank was, namely the threat of the Soviet Army. To implement an offensive stance, the Army would need personnel carriers that could keep up with the new tanks. The concept here is to put a squad of American ass-kickers in a safe vehicle, take them to where the ass kicking is needed, and then let them hop off to proceed with the kicking of ass and bitchslapping and general bringing of pain to the enemy.

Scouts Out!

And so the Bradley ultimately allows a crew of three to carry six infantry guys. Some variants now have antiaircraft roles, engineer roles, and even rocket artillery packages, but the original was intended to replace the M113, an old warhorse of the Vietnam era. And of course, Army Scouts – Cavalrymen – use them as well. Thus these are also the new horses of the Cavalry.

The BFV weighs in at about 27 tons, most of that aluminum frame and laminate armor plating. It runs on tracks like a tank, and is powered by a 600hp diesel engine that will move all of that weight easily up to 35mph. I have personally done that, and gotten air in one as well. They’re loud as hell and the exhaust stinks, but they do get up and go.

On board, the main armament is the awesome M242 chain gun. This bad-ass weapon is like having a machine gun with two magazine wells and 300 total bullets (with 600 more stowed in back), allowing you to switch the type of ammo at will. Like a tank, it can sling armor-piercing and high-explosive 25mm shells (about a 1.0 cal) at a rate of one every .7 seconds. Good gunners can thread needles with this system, and my experience with them tells me they almost never jam or misfire. Also like the larger tank, they have a coaxially-mounted 7.62mm machine gun.

Unlike a tank, the BFV also can fire anti-tank TOW missiles and carries extras should the need arise. All of the weapons are controlled from a gyroscopically-stabilized turret, and the thermal sights allow night engagements. Recent models have a laser rangefinder for greater precision. As stated above, the Bradley carries six lethal, pissed-off (because riding back there is no picnic at all), trained killers ready to run around and completely befuckle the bad guys’ day.

Obviously this particular piece of Army equipiment provides folks with a virtual smorgasboard of ways to die for whatever cause they wish. Overall, pretty awesome!


33 Responses to “Why Bradleys Rock”

  1. Yes, this is what I need to patrol my neighborhood when teenage rhapscallions are recklessly cruising around in their golf carts, dirt bikes and 4-wheelers at dangerous speeds, rendering my kids unable to safely play outside in their own yard. This would slow them down. Pass me a spike strip while you’re at it…

      • Yeah, and the nearest golf course is 7 miles away. The retired riders think they’re cool (they take their dogs for rides and stuff), and then their grandkids come visit on the weekends and test the limits to these vehicles.

        • John Erickson Says:

          Muse, you DO realise that golf carts have limiters on them, to keep them from going too fast? A screwdriver and a pair of pliers can remove the limiter quite easily. Then, if you want REAL fun, swap out the drive motors for higher RPM models! (Ever see a cart get up on two wheels? It’s more fun being IN one that does so!)
          And just to make sure ‘Rants doesn’t feel left out, I can give you a variety of weapons packs you can add on. Personally, I’d vote for 90mm recoilless rifles – fifty cals tend to overstress the fiberglass! 😀

          • Or 3.75″ rockets, since you like ‘helicopeters’ so much.

          • John Erickson Says:

            It ain’t that I love helos all that much (though even YOU have to admit that the Chinook is a pretty awesome sight), it’s just that you don’t ALWAYS need a tank to take out a tank. In WW2, the Soviets tried it with dogs – and it worked all too well. The dogs were trained to go to a running tank and lay down underneath it, setting off a charge on their backs. The charge DID take out tanks – Soviet tanks, since that’s what they were trained with. Oops! 😀

          • Does this work on my kids’ miniature John Deere Gator? I would like to remove its limiter and replace it with a higher RPM and let my kids chase after the golf cart people! Thanks for the idea…

          • John Erickson Says:

            That, or just yank the electrics and put in a nice Barley V-twin….

  2. I think the A-Team built something like that one time out of an old ice cream truck, some chicken wire and a boat oar. Or was it MacGyver? I’m confused now. It is pretty fucking awesome.

  3. I think Bradley’s rock too, but I fully thought this post was going to be about the bad assness of Bradley Cooper, so you can see my disappointment.

  4. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    Man…I need one of these, too – I definitely find the need to do a lil bitch~slappin’ and ass~kickin’ sometimes..

  5. For the love of tanks! Happy Bloggentines Day to you!

  6. I know next to nothing about military thingies but I always enjoy hearing about them. The technology is amazing; plus, I like things that kick ass!

  7. John Erickson Says:

    You’re gonna launch a major hate-fest on my butt, but I gotta go with the whole LAV family (Piranha) that gave birth to the Stryker, among others. Can carry anything up to a 105mm gun, mortars, missile packages, troops, electronics, you name it. And haul ass along a highway above the US speed limit, to boot!
    Then again, I have this thing about wheeled vehicles with nasty weaponry… 😉

    • Don’t forget that that class of vehicles armed with a 105mm will tip over when firing over the right or left side.

      • John Erickson Says:

        C’mon, I’ve seen film of broadsides without rollover. Though I wouldn’t want to be a passenger – no ground-based vehicle should exceed 45 degrees tilt, except maybe a cheap little Corolla taking a California on-ramp too fast. 😉

        • Sorry, not budging. Takes a tank to kill another tank.

          • John Erickson Says:

            I hate to argue with a superior officer, but I’ve got four characters for you – AH64. 🙂

          • John Erickson Says:

            As in Dragon/AT4 (or Tow II), or do I need your reply expanded?

          • No, the new 120 round that can engage ground and air targets using a proximity fuze.

          • John Erickson Says:

            So what’s the acronym stand for? (I was thinking “Man-Portable Anti-Tank”, hence the connection to AT-4.) And how does this differ from, say, the 5″/38 VT round used for AAA in WW2, or is the Army just now catching up to the 1940s Navy? :p 😉

          • Multi Purpose Anti Tank

          • John Erickson Says:

            So is it triggered by on-board radar, is it a time fuze, or what? I’m assuming it works via HEAT rather than kinetic kill.
            Speaking of HEAT, has the Abrams round gone to a dual warhead to defeat ERA?
            And to the rest of you out there, my apologies for this country having an acronym-happy military. 😀

          • No, I’m pretty sure it’s magnetic-triggered when used against air targets. And I’m not aware of an ERA defeating HEAT round.

          • John Erickson Says:

            I know some of the missiles like TOW II and Milan (or is it HOT?) have dual explosives, one to “blow back” against the ERA’s explosion, the second to do the burn through the armour. Would magnetic proximity (like WW1 and WW2 naval mines) work against aircraft and helos, which are mostly aluminum (or aluminium for our British readers) or increasingly commonly carbon-fiber?
            I know the new 25mm grenade launcher for the grunts uses a laser for target ranging, then sets a time fuze to explode overhead. (XM-25, I think they call it.)
            Thank you, Mr. (Tank) Shell Answer Man! 😀

  8. I need one to get through a city of insane bad drivers.. oh what fun..

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